Page 114 of Friendshipped
Lexi’s hand—the one I’m not holding—slips around from behind my waist and makes a path up toward my chest. She rests her palm over my heart. Then she moves to my chin and runs her fingers across the stubble along my jawline.
I’m vaguely aware of catcalls and whistles off in the distance. Then I realize the music has shifted to an upbeat song while Lexi and I lost ourselves in our first kiss. We separate and she buries her face in my chest.
I bend toward her ear and say, “It’s okay, Lex. We earned that. It’s been a long time coming.”
She shifts and her eyes light up as she exclaims, “Backstreet’s back!”
I tilt my head back in laughter as she starts jumping up and down to the beat. I don’t think I’ve danced to this song since high school. I start jumping alongside Lexi, and when the line “Backstreet’s back!” comes on, we both shout it together, pumping our fists in the air as we jump.
I look at her with wonder. We just kissed and it was a kiss to end all kisses. I know I still need to tell her I’m TJ. A wave of apprehension washes over me. What if she’s angry about me creating a bogus account and not coming clean about who I am? Will knowing I’m TJ ruin this fragile thing I’ve waited so long to claim?
I can’t hold out any longer, so when the song ends and we’re standing on the dance floor, I lean into Lexi and whisper in her ear, “You’ve been worth the wait.”
I step back, hoping my face conveys the fullness of what I’m trying to disclose.
Her eyes go wide. “It’s you! Is it you?”
I nod. Is she upset? I can’t tell.
“Trevor. You’re TJ!”
“I am.”
She’s quiet, and my life flashes before my eyes while I wait for her reaction. Then she says, “I think I had some idea, but I kept questioning myself. But, why?”
I hold up a finger because everyone around us has started doing the Chicken Polka and I need to get her alone so we can talk without being jabbed by an overzealous flap of an elbow.
I cup Lexi’s arm and guide her off the dance floor.
When we reach a quieter spot at the edge of the barn, I tell her, “I needed to ease you into knowing how much I love you. I was so afraid of losing our friendship. I still am, actually. But I finally realized I couldn’t take it anymore. I have wanted you since the botched kiss in Laura’s kitchen in high school, probably even before then. I’ve never stopped wanting you.”
“You love me?” she asks with her eyes wide and full of astonishment. She looks exactly like I feel. “Does Laura know?”
“She does. It was actually her idea to get me on the app and let you warm up to the idea of dating me under a pseudonym.”
We both look across the dance floor. When Laura sees us looking for her, she waves in our direction with a wiggle of her fingers and a knowing smile.
“You love me,” Lexi says in a breathy voice, her head lightly shaking as if she can barely believe it.
“Alexis Billington, I’m so madly in love with you I don’t even know what to do with myself.”
She giggles.
“Is this going to be awkward?” she asks.
“Not if that kiss is any indication,” I assure her.
“Did we really just kiss?” she asks. “This is all so unbelievable. I’ve loved you for so long, Trev.”
“You have?”
“Yeah.”
“But you went on the app to find other guys to date.”
“I thought you had gotten over your phase of wanting me,” she explains. “So, I was trying to find a second-runner-up.”
“I thought you never wanted me in the first place,” I tell her.
