Page 70 of The Retaliation You Deliver
I flinch at her words and she notices.
“He never hurt me. But he was drowning and thought by holding me tighter, he might just stay afloat.
“But then I came home that day with my nanny. She went to the kitchen because she promised me that we could make cookies and I ran upstairs to change and wash my hands.
“I knew something was wrong the second I got to the top of the stairs. I don’t know how, I just sensed it.
“Dad’s bedroom door was always closed. He barely went in the room after Mom died, it was too painful for him. But that afternoon, it was wide open.
“Without thinking, I walked inside, calling out for him. There was no response.”
My heart thunders in my chest, my hands trembling because I know what’s coming next. I know how he died, I just had no idea she was the one to discover the truth.
No child. Hell, no adult, should be subjected to what she found that day.
“It was the puddle on the bathroom floor that made me walk in that direction. Only, what I thought was water, I soon discovered was something else.”
She’s so strong as she recalls those events. Her voice is solid, unwavering as if she’s talking about someone else, or even a movie she’s watched.
An overwhelming sense of pride for her washes through me.
I have no idea how she’s done it. How she’s survived and can stand here now bleeding out her reality as if it doesn’t hurt like hell, because I know it does.
She’s just fucking stronger than anyone I’ve ever met before, and that’s really saying something because I’m surrounded by some fucking fierce people.
A crack of thunder in the distance startles both of us, and when I drag my eyes from Macie’s I find the stars that were twinkling above us are quickly being swallowed by angry storm clouds.
It seems eerily fitting.
“He was lying on the floor, curled up in the fetal position, a blade still in one hand and a photograph of the three of us when I was a baby in the other.” Finally, her voice cracks with emotion as she recalls the scene.
I take a step toward her as her first tear falls but she holds her hand up, stopping me from doing what I so desperately need to and pull her body into mine.
“I remember screaming. I remember my nanny’s feet thundering up the stairs but then it all gets hazy. I have vague images of paramedics, police, and other people I didn’t recognize. I remember my nanny holding me, her tears dropping into my hair, her body trembling. But I didn’t remember crying myself.
“The one thing I do remember as vividly as if it happened this morning was the look on my uncle’s face as he walked toward me hours later.
“We were still at the house. It was the last place I wanted to be but it wasn’t like I had much choice. I had no family aside from him.
“I have no idea what he was in the middle of, but it was abundantly clear the second he looked at me that he wasn’t happy about being dragged away from it.
“I never liked him. He was cold, unwelcoming. Nothing like he was portrayed in the media. But even my dad used to say good things about him so I wanted to believe it was all in my head. That really, he was just as nice as my dad. They were brothers after all.
“I have no idea if it was just me he hated, or all kids. I could only assume that seeing as he ran a summer camp for gifted boys that it was just me.
“He gathered up the bags that my nanny had packed for me and all but pushed me out of the house. Although, looking back, I’m sure it didn’t look as bad as it felt, social services never would have let me leave with him, or at least I like to think that would’ve been the case.
“The second he got into the car with me, he demanded that I keep my mouth shut and do my best to make myself invisible.
“I remember trying to curl myself up so deep into the seat, trying to hide, hoping that it might just swallow me whole and that I could go and be with my parents.”
“Fucking hell, Macie,” I say, my own voice sounding much more effected by her story than hers.
I close the space between us once more, and this time she allows it.
Wrapping my arms around her, I discover that she’s not dealing with this as well as she appears because her entire body is trembling violently.
Another clap of thunder echoes around us, but she doesn’t even try to move, just stands there trembling as I hold her.
