Page 70 of The Devastation You Reap
I know that I should probably let him at Brett. If I'd caught him on the verge of raping my girl I'd want his fucking blood too. But Luca doesn't need to know Brett's whereabouts. He also doesn't need to revisit that dark side of himself.
He's got Peyton back now, they're happy, she's safe. That's how it should stay.
"Where is he, Lee?"
"Exactly where he should be. Out of our lives."
"But—"
"It's not happening, Luc. Beg me as much as you like."
"I want to fucking kill him."
"Exactly why I'm not giving you the answers that you want. Things are good now. You've got your girl, a future. Just focus on that."
"And you?" he asks, his brow lifting in curiosity.
"I'm doing what needs to be done."
"What did he do to you, Lee?"
"Me?" I ask with a laugh, our father's neglect of me for his favorite flickering through my mind like a fucking movie. "He didn't care enough."
Luca's lips part to respond but I beat him to it.
"I gotta head out. I don't want to keep her waiting."
"I hate this, Lee," he confesses, running his hand through his hair. "I hate being in the dark, forced to feel like I don't even know you anymore. It never used to be like this."
Yes, it did,I think to myself. I was just better at covering it up.
"It's life, Luc. We're not seven-year-old naïve little boys with zero responsibilities. We've both got lives now. You've got Peyton and—"
"And you?" he asks, his eyes widening with his need to know about Macie.
"It's early days. It might be nothing."
"Or it might be everything."
"Yeah, maybe," I lie. "I gotta go."
"Sure." The sadness in his tone makes my chest ache but it's the way it's got to be. Once I've laid all my ghosts to rest, maybe things will change. But for right now, I need him at arm's length because if he gets too close, I already know he's not going to like what he finds.
With a heavy heart, I turn to leave.
Dropping into my car, I feel like the shittiest brother in the world, but I know it's the way it's got to be. If he knew the truth, he'd want to raise hell on my behalf, and I refuse to allow him to go down that road.
I'm the one who's owed the revenge. He's dealt with his shit now and got his girl back. It’s time for him to begin his future while I try to lay my past to rest in the hope I have a future to enjoy.
My head is a mess as I head for Macie's dorm.
Part of me wants to blow her off to go and take my frustration out on our dad, but the knowledge that doing so will only fuck everything up keeps me moving forward.
And fuck am I glad I do when she opens her door and I get my first look at her.
"Fuck, Red. You look…" My words trail off because. Wow.
Her hair has been pulled up with just a few curled strands hanging around her face. Her makeup is heavier than usual, the smoky gray around her eyes making the light blue of her eyes pop. Her lips are red and full, making my mouth water for a taste of her. And the dress… fuck me, the dress.
