Page 106 of The Devastation You Reap
“I heard rumors,” I lie.
“You’re lucky,” she whispers. “You’re lucky you don’t have first hand experience”
My entire body tenses at her words and it doesn’t go unnoticed.
She lifts her head from my chest, looking at me with those concerned eyes again.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, baby. You’re in my arms, I’m more than okay.”
“E-earlier,” she stutters. “Did you want to talk about it?”
I stare at her, the confession of what I did—what I’ve done—right on the tip of my tongue. I’ve never felt compelled to tell anyone any of my secrets before. But Macie, there’s something about her that makes me want to spill all the darkness inside me. Let her dance in it’s bottomless depths with me, if she’s brave enough.
“One day,” I finally say, pushing the need to confess all down.
She snuggles back against me and I relax.
No matter how much I might want to tell her, I know I can’t. Not until I’ve got what I need, and not until she understands who I really am. Then I can lay all my truths out on the table, and we’ll see if she’s so willing to stick around then.
* * *
“I was thinking,” Macie says, the next morning as she gets ready for class. I’m also getting dressed but I can hardly walk into college wearing clothes stained with my father’s blood so I’m going to have to swing by my house first and attempt to sneak in without getting caught.
Luca and Peyton are already concerned enough, I’m sure finding me like this would only make things worse.
The time is coming where I’m going to have to either do something drastic or confess, and the thought of the latter makes me want to run. Run as far away from this place and the truth as possible.
I’ve spent all these years protecting those I love from the truth, and even now, when I’m almost on the cusp of getting the revenge I need, the thought of them knowing, of looking at me with sympathy and pity in their eyes makes me consider trying to forget it all once again.
But I know I can’t.
The pain has only grown and festered inside me for the past ten years. I need to do something, and soon, or I’m going to end up hurting those I love more than any secrets could.
“Oh yeah?” I ask while watching her apply her makeup in the mirror.
“I don’t have classes Friday and I don’t think I’ll be invited to my study group again, so I might head to Miami on Thursday afternoon, check out what’s going on at my uncle’s.”
“I can blow off classes,” I offer, knowing that I’m not going to let this opportunity pass me by.
“No, you don’t have to do that. I’ll only be gone for a night.”
Pushing up from the bed, I walk up behind her and place my hands on her shoulders.
“But I want to. Maybe we could make a weekend of it. Just me and you.” I hold her eyes in the mirror, allowing her to see all the dirty, wicked thoughts that are running through my mind.
“Um…”
“We can go to the beach, swim in the ocean. Skinny dip in your uncle’s pool and sunbathe naked.”
“It's winter,” she points out.
“And?” I ask, pushing her hair over her shoulder and kissing down her neck. “I’m sure I could keep you warm.”
“You’re crazy.”
“Crazy for you.”
