Page 1 of The Destruction You Desire
1
Luca
My hand trembles around the flowers I'm carrying as I walk around the house to the backyard.
Coming here is a risk. I knew that before I even left the house. But after avoiding Peyton—everyone really—since I walked out of the mall on Wednesday. I promised both Leon and Letty that I would give her some space. That I would try to figure my shit out. But my patience has run out.
I need her.
I need her more than I'm willing to admit, and that terrifies me.
When I first knocked on the front door, I assumed they'd gone out. But with all their cars parked out in front of the house, I figured they couldn't have gone that far. And as I walk toward the back gate, I hear joyful chatter and laughing, and I realize that I was right.
I have no idea what I'm expecting to find when I walk through the gate to the backyard. If I had to guess then I'm probably about to walk into the middle of all my friends celebrating Peyton's birthday as if they've all forgotten about me.
My chest tightens at the thought of them all taking her side in this fight.
It once again makes me question everything.
Has my loyalty been totally misplaced all this time?
Should I have believed her that day? Should I have told her that everything was going to be okay and pull her into my arms like I did every other time shit got hard for either of us.
I've spent all these years believing that she was the one to ruin us and everything we had. But really, was it me? Was I the dumbass who wanted to believe that those closest to me wouldn't hurt me like that?
My heart is in my throat as I stand before the gate, staring down at the latch.
Just walk through it and wish her a happy birthday, Luca. Don't be a pussy.
Squeezing my eyes closed for a beat, the image of her turning me away on Monday night slams into me. If I weren't so gutted by the move and the fact that she used me to get what she needed, then I'd probably be proud of her. But I can't move past the fact that I needed her, I needed my best friend at that moment and she turned her back on me.
I know I should have expected it. But fuck, my head was—is‚ a fucking mess.
All I knew was that I needed her to quiet everything down just for a little while.
She did. Kissing her, touching her, sliding deep inside of her, it gave me everything I was craving. It broke through the anger that had descended with Dad's surprise visit. But it wasn't enough. It was nowhere near enough.
Blowing out a quick slow breath, I reach for the latch and without thinking about it, I swing it open and step into the backyard.
The first thing I notice is that it's not full of people I recognize like I thought it might be. Instead, there are only four people sitting around a table at the other end of the yard.
The second is that one of those people is not only little, but in a wheelchair.
Time seems to slow down as the gate crashes closed behind me, alerting everyone to the fact that they've got company before all eyes turn toward me.
I hear people say things but I don't register any of the words because my eyes are locked onto the little boy who's staring back at me with wide shocked eyes.
He looks… fuck.
He looks just like me as a kid.
My heart thunders as my head spins at a mile a minute.
I know fuck all about kids, but he's gotta be what… four? Five, maybe?
My arms fall to my sides as I stride forward to get a closer look, but Peyton jumps up, immediately trying to block my view of the little boy with her body.
"Peyton?" I breathe, needing her to do something, to say something because right now I'm so fucking confused and beginning to jump to conclusions that I really don't need in my fucking head.
