Page 53 of The Vengeance You Crave
"You get lucky last night?"
"What's it to you?"
He scoffs.
"Jealous? How long's it been since you saw some action who wasn't a distressed friend needing a distraction?"
"Fuck you, man. That's got nothing to do with you."
"Yet who I was with last night has something to do with you?"
"When you're acting like a fucking asshole, yeah. It is."
"Well, in case you hadn't realized, you're not our father and you can't tell me what the fuck to do."
My blood heats at even the mention of his name and the things he tells me to do. Although, I'm not sure even he would be able to keep me from Peyton right now.
"Speaking of, you need to call him back."
"I'm good, thanks." I already know how that conversation is going to go.
"We need to talk about plan B, Son, seeing as you royally fucked plan A with the shittiest season I've ever seen. Do you even remember how to throw a football?"
I shake his words from my head. I don't care about him, I don't care about his opinions. I got what I wanted, I'm not heading for the draft. Although I never wanted a failed season to be the reason for it.
I know it's pointless but there's a part of me deep down that just wants him to tell me that it's okay, that we all have off days, off seasons, and that there's always next year. I just want him to be proud of me. To be the dad I always hoped was hiding deep down, but at every turn, he just disappoints me. I want it to stop, I need it to stop.
I just… I think of Peyton, of the things she confessed to me.
They can't be true. They just can't. I refused to believe it back then and I still refuse to now, because if it's true then… I lift my hand to my hair, tugging on the lengths until it hurts.
It can't be true.
"Luc," he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm worried about you."
"Yeah, well you don't need to be. Everything is great," I lie. The reality is that my life right now feels like sand slipping through my fingers. I've barely got a grasp on reality. Things are getting clouded by darkness faster than I can control.
The only thing that makes sense is her.
Tormenting her, teasing her, punishing her.
She lied and she left me to drown in the knowledge, that's something I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive her for.
He stares at me, not believing a single word. I don't blame him, I wouldn't believe it either.
"Whatever. I'm going to shower."
I'm almost at the door with my mug in hand when he speaks again.
"Who was she, Luca?"
"No one. She's no one."
I storm from the room and up the stairs before he can respond. The pain of that confession tightens my chest until it feels like my lungs are about to explode.
She might be no one now, but she was someone. Someone who meant more to me than anyone else in the world. There were times I'd even have put her above Leon.
I shake my head at my thoughts. I was so fucking stupid.
