Page 30 of The Revenge You Seek
"You want some food, man?" Ellis finally asks. "There's plenty of leftovers."
"Yeah, that would be awesome. Thank you."
Him and Ezra collect up their plates and disappear into the kitchen while I make my way over to the table.
Devin pushes a bottle of beer toward me but I decline. I need to start taking shit seriously so that I can prove my worth to the team and show them that Luca is wrong, that they need me to help take them all the way this year.
They had an incredible season last year but it's all up in the air with a new team hitting the field this season. Just one person can change the dynamics of a team, and I fear that if we fuck it up this year, then the blame is going to be entirely placed on me.
"Did you talk to her?" he asks, pushing the remaining food around on his plate.
"Yeah… kind of. She's… she's different, man. I don't know." I slump down in my chair as I picture her in my mind. "She was so skinny, tired."
"You think something happened?"
I shrug. "She wouldn't have given up Columbia without a fight."
I might not have known Letty well for a lot of years, but she was dreaming of that place before most of us even knew what a college was. It was her ultimate dream.
So the fact she's here right now raises huge questions.
"Something bad must have happened," he muses, mirroring my thoughts. "You hear of girls getting attacked and shit all the time, dropping out and—"
"Really?" I ask him, turning to stare at the side of his face.
"Sorry, I was just saying."
"Well don't." I've already got enough images racing through my mind as to the reason she could be here. Him adding more—or encouraging the ones I already have—isn't helpful.
"Here. Enjoy," Ellis says with a smile, sliding a plate over. The scent of the tomatoey Bolognese assaults my senses and my mouth starts watering.
"You perfected anything else yet?" I ask him, knowing this is the only dish he ever cooks.
“Nope, I’m a one-dish kinda man.”
I shake my head at him as Ezra calls something about not being a one-woman man from the kitchen.
“You need to talk to her. Put all this shit behind you and move on.”
My fork pauses halfway to my lips.
“Wait… you're fucking serious?"
"Bro, I know, I get it. But don't you think it's time to let it all go? You're both here, starting over. Just…" He trails off, not really needing to say the words out loud.
But while he does understand. He has been beside me through it all, he suffered some of the same loss I did, it doesn't run as deep for him as it does for me. And no matter how hard I might want to walk away, to do what he just suggested, I know I'm not going to be able to.
I'm not going to be able to watch her walk around, embarking on her new life and stay on the sidelines. I already know that it's not going to happen while we're here together.
"Yeah, I know." I shovel Ellis's Bolognese into my mouth and savor the flavors for a second, it's the perfect distraction, although it doesn't last very long.
"You're not even listening right now, are you?"
"Of course I am."
"Sure. That little issue aside, how's it feel to finally be a college student?"
"I'm sure it'll be great if I ever manage to drag my head out of the past," I mutter.
