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"Dude, what the fuck are you doing here?"

He lifts his fist in greeting and I bump it before he scowls at a couple on the couch and they damn near shit themselves before scrambling up and running from the room.

He passes me a bottle of beer and we drop down.

"Brought the fucking party, didn't I? You don't think those pussy motherfuckers could have pulled this off."

I shrug, not telling him that this is college and the second word gets around about the kind of gear these brothers are going to be peddling then there will be a line around the block to attend.

"They not pulling their weight, Daddy had to send you in, eh?"

It's no secret in this house that the Harris brothers are here for only one reason. To lock up the drug supply in Maddison.

They've got Harrow Creek and Rosewood down tight and this is the next patch to claim.

"Nah, they're good. I just fancied being a college kid for the night. No responsibilities and all that." His eyes flick over to where Devin, his oldest little bother is now fingerfucking the girl on his lap.

"Oh yeah. How's that going for you?"

"How is it he's got a girl already and I don't?"

"Because you're talking to me," I suggest.

"Fucking right. I'll catch you later. I need some fucking college chick action."

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," I shout as he walks away in search of a victim for the night.

I scan the room, half tempted to stay and watch the drama unfold but in the end, I find myself a bottle of vodka in the kitchen and make my way up to my room.

A few guys stop me for a chat as I make my way to the stairs but I don't hang around, especially when some of the drunken girls begin to get a little handsy. Usually, I'd return their attention without a second thought but tonight with the scent of Letty still in my nose, I push them away and jog up to my room to lock myself inside for the night.

Stripping out of my clothes, I throw them into the laundry pile in the corner before marching toward the bathroom. Part of me is desperate to shower and get her scent off me, but the other wants to fucking bottle it.

Turning the shower on as hot as it'll go, I step under and scrub my skin until I'm red.

I need her off my body and out of my fucking head.

It's wishful thinking, she's been deep inside both for more years than I want to admit.

She should have been yours all alongthe little voice in my head taunts me, but I shake it away.

She's never been mine.

I put someone else's happiness and desires before mine. And look where that got me.

With a dead best friend and a girl I can't forget who I'll forever hold responsible.

"Fuuuuck," I bellow, planting my fist into the tiles before me and watching as my blood begins to seep over the white porcelain.

I need to walk away from her.

To put her behind me.

But I can't.

The beast that lives inside me, the one that constantly seeks revenge for every fucked up thing that's happened to me, needs her. It needs to see her pay. To watch her crumble and shatter right before my eyes. And it doesn't matter that my heart beats to an entirely different tune because that motherfucker still thinks we're thirteen years old with a crush on a girl he can't stop thinking about.

My fist finds the tiles again and doesn't stop until two of them are cracked and the water beneath my feet runs red.