Page 15 of Chasing Temptation
“What? No. I just thought he was a little overly friendly.”
She chuckles. “Whatever you want to tell yourself. Shall we see what delights we have tonight?”
“Can’t wait,” I mutter. Knowing what the other meals have been like, I’m not all that excited.
I poke at the casserole looking thing in front of me, but all I can think about is the way that nurse looked at Quinn.
“I was jealous,” I admit. “He looked at you like he knew you, and I hate that there are people out there who know you better than I do.”
“Joe,” she breathes, halting poking her own food around the container. “You are the only person who knows the true me. My real hopes and dreams. The version of me that lived here, that knew all these people, was a fake, an actress.”
“Why didn’t you get out sooner?”
She’s silent for a few moments while she thinks. “I’ve been controlled my whole life. It was normal. It was expected of me to just do as I was told. It took me longer than it should have to realise that that control wasn’t the love and care I thought it to be. I didn’t know any different. The people my parents associated with were the same, but as I grew up and started getting a look at the world around me, I realised my life was anything but normal. By then it was too late. I’d been married off to one of my parents’ friends’ sons who’d lived the same sheltered and controlled life I had, only he thrived on continuing it. The longer it went on, the more I resented it, but I was in too deep to just walk away. They wouldn’t allow that. I had to bide my time, continue to pretend to be her and just hope the time presented itself where I could live the life I’d been dreaming of.”
My heart bleeds for her that she’s been treated that badly for so long by people who are supposed to love and support her. I can sympathise to a point because my parents are worthless pieces of shit, but at least they didn’t keep me locked up. Her story makes mine sound like a walk in the park. Yeah, I’ve had hard times, really hard, but at least I’ve always been able to be myself.
“I love the person you are.” Her eyes fly to mine at my admission, but she doesn't say anything in response. I want to say more but when her eyes drop from mine in favour of the food in front of her, I get the message that she’s done for now.
We finish eating in silence before Harry comes back and does my check-up before leaving us alone once again. There are a million and one questions on the tip of my tongue. I’m desperate to unleash all of them on her to fully understand everything she’s been through, but in the end, I go with the most pressing.
“What happens when I get out of here?”
Her eyes meet mine and her lips part, ready to respond, but a knock on the door fills the room. She blows out a long breath. I’m not sure if it’s because she’s relieved or frustrated that she doesn’t get to answer, but the second a head pops into the room all thoughts of my previous question leave my mind.
The woman who comes to stand at the end of my bed is so familiar. Okay, so her hair is blonde, but the blue eyes that are darting between the two of us are the exact blue ones I’m becoming used to.
“Mum.” Quinn’s voice is so quiet I almost miss it.
“Lizzie. I missed you so much.” She walks towards Quinn with her arms open like she wants to pull her in for a hug, but Quinn stiffens, her tray remaining fully in place on her lap as if it’s a shield. “Lizzie?”
“Don’t,” Quinn snaps in a tone I’ve not heard from her before. “You don’t get to come in here after everything and act like all is well between us.”
Pain fills her mother’s face, and I can’t help but feel for the woman. She’s obviously gone out on a whim, hoping that her daughter might accept it. I can’t really blame Quinn; from the little I know it seems to be that her mother, although not guilty of committing any of the crimes of the men in her life, must have been aware of them.
“Elizabeth, please, just let me explain.”
“Explain? Explain how you sat back and allowed Dad and all the others to do what they did to those poor innocent kids? You could have done something about it long before I ever discovered it was happening, let alone before I worked at the same school. You could have—”
“I know,” her mother sobs. “I know. But…” she pauses, looking up at the ceiling like she’s praying for strength. “You know what your dad was like. You know how controlling he was. I just couldn’t risk—”
“You couldn’t risk what for all those children they were abusing on a weekly basis? What was so important to you that you couldn’t helpthem?Help me? You knew the kind of monster you were marrying me off too. You could have stopped that.”
“I just couldn’t. I was scared.”
“Scared? Scared of what?”
“Your dad,” she whimpers. “He may have never laid a finger on you, but it was a very different story for me. If I made one wrong move I’d feel it for weeks. I couldn’t risk exposing them and something happening to me. Where would that have left you? He might have...he m-m-might h-have touched you.” Her sobs become uncontrollable, but Quinn doesn’t move to comfort her.
I don’t know the woman from Adam, but even from here I can tell that she’s broken. Quinn might not want to hear her out, and that’s fair after everything she’s experienced, but I do believe there’s truth in her mother’s words. I’ve lived with manipulative parents who were only out for themselves, and I don’t think this shell of a woman before me is one of them. Her father, on the other hand, is probably up there vying for king alongside my father and Lauren’s. The reminder that all the women I care about have been screwed over by men who were meant to love and care for them has fury boiling in my veins. How hard is it to have a normal childhood with decent parents?
“Don’t turn this on me. I was strong enough to deal with whatever was thrown my way. The fact we’re all here right now should be proof of that.”
“It is, baby. I’m so proud of you.” Her face is red and blotchy and covered in tears and snot, her shoulders sagged in defeat, but still Quinn stands her ground.
“Why don’t you think about all those kids whose endless abuse has hopefully come to an end, and all those adults out there whose lives will always be touched by what Dad did and allowed to happen under his leadership?”
“You think I’ve thought of anything else over the years?”
