Page 19 of Avoiding Temptation
My hands tremble as he continues to stare at me.
“I’ve…uh…just got a lot on my mind.”
“Everything’s okay though, with all that? You’d tell me if you needed something, right?”
“Of course. Everything’s fine. I’ve not heard anything.”
My words must be sincere enough, because after a couple of seconds Eddie nods and turns to leave.
I push my bag under my desk and attempt to ignore my phone’s existence.
Trying to think about anything but him as well as keeping myself awake, I do a lap of my classroom and check in on each student. This class is a little more of what I’m used to, seeing as the majority are still teenagers. That being said, they’re still a million miles from the private school kids of my past.
“How are you doing, Jodi?” I ask, dropping down to my haunches and checking on one of the quieter members of the group. There’s something so familiar about her. She reminds me of a younger me. There’s a sadness in her eyes that only comes with the overbearing nature of my past.
“I’m good, Miss, thank you.” Her words are as quiet as a mouse.
“You can call me Quinn, sweetie. If you need anything, please just ask. I’m here to help.” I can’t help but offer my support, although I’m sure how much I really mean it goes straight over her head.
Thoughts of my past along with memories of last night fill my mind for the rest of the morning.
I grab myself a panini from the coffee shop around the corner for lunch, and by the time my belly is full it’s all I can do to keep my eyes open in the quiet of our little staff room. Pushing my diary and laptop aside, I lay my head on my arms just for a few moments to relax.
I awake to the sound of someone clearing their throat.
Lifting my head, I instantly meet the concerned eyes of Eddie, who’s down on his haunches looking at me.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I promise.” I smile weakly, my sleep-fogged brain making any kind of movement hard right now.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you went out last night. Have you made some new friends?”
“No,” I lie smoothly. “I had a glass of wine too many with dinner,” I admit, realising that he’s close enough to possibly smell last night on me.
“Be sensible. I know life’s different for you now, but please don’t go too wild.”
He eyes me as I panic. My palms sweat as I think about what could possibly happen to me if he were to find out what I did last night and with whom.
“I won’t. I just needed a little help to relax.” It’s not a lie. It’s exactly what last night was.
“Just remember, I’m here for you.”
“I know. Thank you.”
The second he leaves the room, my head finds the desk again—only this time it’s not to sleep, it’s out of frustration for what I’m doing.
The last thing I needed when I stepped out of the building to finally head home later that afternoon was an almighty downpour.
I watch as Londoners run past the front doors to the college building, using anything they’ve got in their hands to protect themselves from the torrential water. A couple of people shelter in the doorway, but I don’t have time for this. My need to be at home and in my pyjamas tops my need to stay dry right now.
A shiver runs down my spine as the cold hits me, but it still doesn’t deter me. A warm shower will fix everything.
I’m rushing towards the tube station when a white van comes to a screeching halt right in front of me.
I freeze in terror. My heart races and my head spins as memories hit me.
I can’t go back.
