Page 36 of Avoiding Temptation
“Good evening. This is Detective Barker. How are you?” His voice is over-the-top happy, and my stomach drops to my feet. It’s all I need to hear to tell me that what’s going to come next is going to rock my world once again.
“I’m…surviving.”
He clearly misses the hesitation in my tone or refuses to hear it.
“That’s good to hear, because I’ve got some news.”
“Go on.”
“The story has been leaked to the press.”Shit.“I thought it was only fair to warn you that it will most probably hit the headlines tomorrow.” My head spins, and white noise fills my ears. My chest heaves as I fight to drag in the air I need, but it’s no use. Nothing fills my lungs, and I can’t catch my breath.
I can vaguely make out the low timbre of Detective Baker’s voice in the background, but I hear no more words as I fall onto the bed and count my breaths as a way to try to calm myself before this turns into a full-on panic attack.
Tomorrow morning, everyone is going to know. The lies and scandal I exposed will be common knowledge. That’s good,I tell myself. It’s what I wanted.But where will that leave me?
“Are you still there?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m still here,” I manage when the fog begins to lift enough to make out his words.
“Did you hear all of that?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, great. Well, like I said. If you hear anything from them, call me immediately, but I’m confident that you’re safe where you are. They won’t want to bring any more heat on their shoulders.”
“Great. Thank you.”
I disconnect the call and allow my hand to drop between my knees as I try to process the little bit of what I heard.
I thought it was only fair to warn you that it will most probably hit the headlines tomorrow.
My hands tremble as I think about the consequences of the world knowing about my old life with all its betrayal and misplaced trust. My stomach turns over, and I worry I’m about to puke right here on my dirty floor, but thankfully a few deep breaths make it abate slightly.
Chapter Thirteen
I don’t geta wink of sleep. Every bang and creek within the building has my heart in my throat, thinking that my past is going to come crashing through my door to teach me a lesson of my own for betraying them.
I know the exact words I’d hear.“We’re family, princess. This is what happens when you go against your own.”
Bang.
The sound of someone’s front door slamming is enough to have me jumping from the bed and backing into the corner as my heart races.
Tears burn my eyes, but I refuse to give in to the fear racing through my veins. I’ve made it this far. I’ve started a new life. They won’t ruin it for me now.
I’m hyper aware of everything as I get ready for work, but I fight against my need to hide like a coward. I’m not the one in the wrong. Why should I be the one hiding?
I want to say that I hold my head high and walk from the building like I have no cares in the world, but that’s far from the truth. In reality, my entire body trembles as terror takes a tight grip on my lungs.
They won’t break me,I repeat over and over as I make my way down towards the tube station.
I probably look like a right nut case as my head darts from side to side and up and down the street, desperately trying to find out if I’m being watched or followed.
My skin tingles with awareness, but I’m sure it’s more my own fears that cause it because I see no sign of anyone looking my way, let alone trailing me. I haven’t since the day I moved here, but that doesn’t mean I’m safe. I thought I was safe in my own home before—I had no idea what monsters I was living with.
Nothing about my day is unusual, but I still find myself looking over my shoulder at every opportunity. I stay as far away from any newspapers, TV and radio as possible. I’m not ready to relive all of that again—not yet, anyway. I’m not stupid, I know I’m going to have to endure seemingly endless court cases about what I exposed, but I’ll deal with that when the time comes.
I make the final part of my journey home from the tube station, my paranoia is at an all time high seeing as it’s dark. It’s so much easier to remain in the shadows out of sight. I reach for my phone to call Joe numerous times, knowing that I’ll feel safe if he’s by my side. But I need to do this alone.
