Page 8 of Falling For Liam
“Uh—”
“I’ll shout once I’m in.”
“O…Okay, yeah, sure.”
The second the door closes behind him, I feel like I can breathe, but I know that I made the right decision. I don’t want to be alone right now. I don’t want to talk, either. I just want to have someone beside me. I want to say that it doesn’t really matter who, but I’d be lying. He’s the only person I want.
Stripping out of my clothes, I abandon them on the tiled floor before stepping into the bubbles. The water is just a little too hot and my skin stings as I lower myself into it, but the pain is quite welcome. It’s another reminder that I’m here in Devon and a long way from home.
After rearranging the bubbles, I call out for Liam. My heart jumps into my throat when the door clicks. A sudden realisation that this was a really bad idea hits me. I know how he feels; it’s written all over his face every time he looks at me. I shouldn’t be putting him through this. Hell I shouldn’t be putting myself through it, but I’m powerless to stop. Powerless to send him away, which is what the sensible thing would be to do.
“Thanks,” I whisper when he hands me my wine before dropping a folded towel on the floor and sitting so his back is resting against the bath. It doesn’t escape my notice that since the moment he walked in here, his eyes have avoided me.
I feel stupid for asking him to stay with me, but as I lie there with the hot water soothing my tight muscles and my eyes closed in an attempt to block out the world, I feel a huge amount of comfort at being able to hear his soft breathing only feet away.
The peace only last so long, although it’s longer than I was expecting him to allow me.
“You can tell me anything, you know…” He trails off, his words are heavy in the room. Every time he looks at me, I can see his desperation to know what’s caused this, but as much as I want to unload my stress onto someone else, he’s not the one. I have a feeling that if he knew the truth, he’d want to fight my battles for me, and I’d never put someone else in the middle of everything. I wouldn’t even wish that on my worst enemy.
Eventually, I break the silence and tension between us. “I know,” I whisper.
“I promise I won’t judge, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Turning so my cheek rests against the lip of the bath, I open my eyes and look at his soft, kind, ruggedly handsome face. “Liam…” I breathe, now unsure as to what I want to say. “I…I know you wouldn’t. It’s not about that, it’s just…everything’s just so fucked up.”
His eyes beg me to say more, but no more words come.
Eventually, he nods in understanding before demanding that I lie back and relax. I eagerly follow his order.
* * *
“I’m ready to get out,” I say when the water starts cooling around me.
“You okay?” Liam asks as he pushes himself up from the floor and shakes out the towel he was using as a cushion. I feel bad when I watch him stretch out what must be a numb bum and stiff back from sitting down there for the last however long.
“Yeah, I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
I watch him leave, his shoulders sagged in defeat. If he had any expectations of seeing me again tonight, I’m pretty sure I’ve shot them all to shit.
After wrapping myself in towels, I cheekily help myself to the makeup remover sitting on the shelf. I don’t feel so bad when I get a look at myself in the mirror. My black makeup is smeared everywhere. I look like a disaster.
He’s sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for me when I emerge, feeling a little more like myself.
I find myself a fresh pair of knickers before swiping up the pyjamas he got out not so long ago.
His eyes follow my every move. My mouth goes dry as they drop and run the length of my body.
“Do…do you mind?” I ask, flicking my eyes to the other side of the room to gesture for him to give me privacy.
He nods and eventually drags his eyes away from me. I stand and watch him for a few seconds. His fists are balled at his sides and his neck and shoulder muscles are pulled tight beneath his shirt.
As quickly as I can, I drop the towel and drag my pyjamas on. I know I’m really testing his restraint, and I don’t want it to snap before I’m ready.
After telling him it’s safe to turn around, I slide into bed and pull the covers up around my waist. It takes him long minutes before he lets out a giant breath and turns to me.
“I’m okay, really.” I try to sound as convincing as possible, but from the narrowing of his eyes, I’m pretty sure I fail. “I’m probably just going to sleep. You should get back to the party.”
A little anger clouds his eyes, and I have to bat down the fear that threatens to take hold of me at seeing it.This is Liam. I’m safe,I tell myself.
