Page 22 of Falling For Liam
Turning over, I curl into the pillow, trying not to put too much weight on any of my bruises, and I allow the sound of his deep voice filling my ears to relax me. The time we spent together all those weeks ago runs through my mind.
I don’t really hear what he’s talking about until one question registers in my mind. “Have you ever done anything reckless for love? If the answer’s yes, call in. We’d love to hear your stories. Were you forgiven, or was it the end?” His voice takes on a deep, sombre tone, and I can’t help wondering if yesterday’s events spurred on this topic of conversation or whether it’s just a coincidence. I curl up in a ball and listen to the few stories his listeners call in with. Each time they say they were forgiven for their actions, Liam’s voice lightens a little. Of course I’m going to forgive him; I can’t hold it over him forever. He was only trying to protect me, after all, but I’m not ready just yet. His actions last night were thoughtless and reckless. I might not want to admit it, but I need him, and I need him safe. When he hits play on his next song, I can’t help but think he’s directing it personally to me as I listen to Prince’s ‘Purple Rain’.It feels like he’s trying to tell me everything he’s feeling—everything he wants—in those few lyrics.
* * *
I spend the next week hibernating inside Nic’s house, using any excuse I can think of not to allow her to drag me out into the big wide world beyond the front door. But I know I can’t keep up this recluse act much longer. This is her house. I need to allow her and Dec some space.
“Morning, how are you feeling?” Nic asks when she joins me in the kitchen where I’m making my morning coffee.
“Better. The pain’s almost gone, and my face isn’t looking so bad.”
“It’s a million times better,” she agrees when I look over at her. My swelling’s practically gone, and what were blue and purple bruises are now a dirty yellow colour. I’m sure I’d look totally normal if I were to put some make up on. But make up means I might have to leave the house, and I’m more than happy in here.
“Hey, Liv,” Dec rumbles behind me, and when I turn again to look, he has his arms wrapped around Nic’s waist as he nibbles on the skin of her neck. Her eyes flutter closed as she sighs softly. A fresh shot of jealously washes through me just like it does every time I see them together. It’s a harsh reminder of what I don’t have but so desperately want. I want to be a man’s everything, I always have. Although, after everything that’s happened, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to trust a man ever again.
I thought David was my knight in shining armour. A mutual uni friend set us up, but I was so busy with work that I kept him at arm’s length. That was, until we were on a night out together. I was at the bar in a club in Cardiff, waiting to be served and chatting to another customer, when he came barging over and ripped my drink out of my hands. I was pissed off. I’d been dancing all night and I was gasping. Turned out he watched the guy I was talking to spike it and he was saving me from the inevitable. The irony isn’t lost on me that that’s how we started yet we almost ended with him witnessing the exact thing that could have happened that night, only at the hands of his own brother. I was grateful, so I agreed to a date, and I guess the rest is history, as they say. Now, I’m in my best friend’s kitchen, with my stuff upstairs in a series of bin bags, trying to figure out what I’m going to do with my life.
I know that I should probably ring my parents, tell them a cut down version of the truth and move back home. I could cover my remaining bruises and they’d be none the wiser, but I can’t think of anything more awful than having my mother breathing down my neck every day. If I’m really honest with myself, this is where I want to be, surrounded by people who accepted me the second I arrived, and who’ve protected me in a way I’ve never experienced before.
Liam’s face flashes through my mind and I feel a little guilty about shutting him out this week. I know he’s desperate to see me. I’ve heard him begging Nic at the front door, but she kept to her word and didn’t allow him inside. Of course, I want to see him—that’s not the issue. The problem is that I’m scared. I know I’m going to take one look at him and he’s going to want more. I do, too. I have since the moment I first saw him. But what if, after everything, I’m not the person he thinks I am? What if it turns out that I’m not what he wants? I’m not sure I can cope with the rejection.
“Liv?” Nic asks with a laugh.
“Yeah, sorry.”
“Come and sit down. We want to talk to you about something.”
Glancing between her and Dec, my apprehension soon turns to a belly full of nerves.
“Wha…what?”
“It’s nothing to worry about. It’s just an idea we’ve had.”
“Okay…” I grab my mug from the side and join them at the table.
“So…Dec’s basically moved in here now, which means his room at the house is empty. We were wondering if you’d like it.”
My eyes flick between the two of them but I’m too shocked to say anything.
“Rent free,” Dec adds. “It’s just sitting there empty, so if it means you get some space to restart your life, then it’s all yours.” Tears begin to sting my eyes the more Dec talks. “It’s the best room in the house—views of the ocean, a balcony…”
“Are you serious?” I ask, eventually finding my voice, even if it is a little gravelly.
“Of course. Being stuck here in that little room with us isn’t a long-term solution, and we know how much it is to rent around here.”
“That would be amazing. Thank you so much.”
“You’re more than welcome. I’m sure the guys will love having a woman around.”
The mention of who I’d be living with brings my earlier thoughts back to the surface. “I’m…uh…not sure they’ll—”
“They’ll be fine. Just don’t let them walk all over you and expect you to do all the cleaning or any of that shit.”
“Do they know about this?”
“Not yet, but it’s my house. I can do what I want. They’ll be jealous as fuck as they’ve both had dibs on my room since we got together. We can move you in as soon as you’re ready. Nic’s already been over and cleaned it for you.”
I’m utterly speechless. It’s more than anyone’s ever done for me, but the thought of living with BJ and Liam has my heart pounding.
