Page 4 of The Promise
“Stop it,” I mutter to myself. This is exactly why I didn’t want to read this fucking thing. I shouldn’t be wondering if he’s hurting; he’s not the one who found me with anotherman.
I square my shoulders andcontinue.
I need you to know that the bakery and the flat are yours no matter what. I know you’re going to be questioning everything but that was always destined to be your bakery even before I knew you, so it needs tohappen.
Everything is ready for you. Your kitchen is just waiting for itsbaker.
Sinead and I painted the flat like planned and all your stuff got delivered yesterday. You can move in whenever you’reready.
I promise that I can explain everything. Please give me the time to prove to you that you’re the one forme.
Please, just hear meout.
Blake.
PS, I’ve taken the spare keys away fromJason.
I fall back onto the sofa clutching his letter. He still wants me to open the bakery; can I do that when I know every time I step in the place all I’m going to see is him? It wouldn’t be happening if he didn’t believe in me. It now seems wrong that I should go ahead withouthim.
I lie there for so long that I start to drift off to sleep with the spring sun streaming in through the window, warming my face. All of a sudden, a thought slams into me and I’m wide awake. My stuff arrived on Tuesday and I forgot all about it. Now it’s Thursday. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I dive off the sofa, grab my handbag and start rummaging around inside until I get my hands on my diary. I know I’m not wrong but I still pray to whoever could be listening that I am. I flip the page open and stare down at that little messy star I’d scribbled on Tuesday as a reminder, although never in my life have I needed one because my body’s regular as fucking clockwork. I know exactly what day and almost what hour I’m going to start my period, and it was meant to beTuesday.
“FUCK,” I scream, before full, body wracking sobs engulf me and I fall back onto the sofa. Mum comes running into the room in a panic wrapped in only a towel. I’m in such a state I can’t even begin to think about answering her when she asks what’swrong.
She holds me for the longest time as I cry. None of this was meant to happen. I was meant to come back to Ireland and find myself the life I’ve always wanted. I wasn’t meant to meet Blake and fall head over heels for him only to find myself being cheated on once again and pregnant. I struggle to even think the word, let alone say it outloud.
I eventually manage to convince Mum that I’m okay and she leaves me to go and get dressed. I pull on a pair of shoes and run out the door the second shedisappears.
By the time I get to the supermarket, I’ve convinced myself it’s all a mistake and the stress of the last few days has just screwed my bodyup.
After purchasing something I didn’t think I would be anytime soon, I stand in the car park with the small box hidden in the depths of my handbag. Unfortunately, hiding it doesn’t make this all disappear. I don’t want to go back to Aunt Addy’s to do this. I need to do it alone so I can attempt to deal with the inevitable result without Mum or her aswitnesses.
I let out a giant breath as I start towards the only option I have to be alone. The walk takes forever but I’m too lost in my own head take much notice of thetime.
I walk around the back of the building and put the key in the lock. I’m not really sure I want to be here either but it’s my only option. When I open the door, the smell of fresh paint hits me and I see that everything is clean and fresh. There’s even new carpet up the stairs to the flat. I equally love and hate that Blake continued to do this for me. It also confuses me; after our time together I want to say he did this because he cares, but a huge part of me now wants to say he finished it because of hisguilt.
Regardless of his reasons, I shut the door behind me and climb the stairs. I’m excited to see what Sinead’s chosen to do with the place but the thought of her makes me want to cry. I never thought I’d say that I’d miss a child, but I do. It’s not the same gut wrenching pain I miss Blake with but it’s therenonetheless.
My breath catches when I step into the open plan living area and kitchen. It’s gorgeous. The walls are cream just like the stairwell, but the feature wall is covered with green and gold floral wallpaper, and it’s fullyfurnished.
“What the—” I start to question as I look around at the few bits of furniture I recognise surrounded by other items that I’ve never seen before but that compliment my old stuffperfectly.
I walk over to the kitchen and pull open a cupboard to find it full of plates and bowls. I try the next one to find all sorts ofglasses.
My eyes fill as I think about Blake and Sinead doing all this forme.
The bathroom has gorgeous fluffy towels hanging on a new towel rail and I can’t help smiling when I notice they are the same colour as the one that was wrapped around me the day I first metBlake.
My hand comes up to cover my mouth when I get to the bedroom because it’s unbelievable. Sat in the centre of the room is a huge bed covered with a thick bedspread and loads of cushions. The bed frame is rustic gold and it matches everything in the room—even down to the picture frames holding a photo of Kayleigh and me when we were kids, as well as one of Blake and me a few weeksago.
I walk over to the photograph of us and lift it up. I stare at his gorgeous face as a million questions fly around my head, all the things I want to ask him but am too scared to.Why did you do this? Was I not as important to you as you made out? Did you think you wouldn’t get caught?There’s one more that’s really bothering me.How could you do this to Sinead?I always thought he was too good a dad to allow Sinead to get to know me as someone who could be a permanent fixture in her life, only to fuck it all up so royally. Sinead’s a child who’s already lost her mum; that kid needs stability—even I knowthat.
