Page 5 of The Plan
“This will be fine,” I say, thinking that the bread alone is going to bloat me out after basically being carb free for years to fit the image everyone expected of me in London. Naturally, I’m a size 10, but it was very obvious to me very fast that my lifestyle and diet were going to have to change when I started dating Edward. Every woman he was surrounded by were stick insects, and he often commented on my thighs. I did what I needed to do to fit the person I was trying to be. I dropped carbs and took up Pilates. I hated it but it had the desired effect. Gone are the hips and thighs, replaced by…well…not a lot. The only thing I somehow managed to keep is my boobs. The size of them has hardly changed, even though I’ve dropped two dress sizes—something that pleased Edward immensely.
I look down at my thick knitted jumper and dark blue skinny jeans and smile. It wasn’t very often that I got to wear comfortable, casual clothes like this. I was expected to be in Gucci dresses, sharp fitted suits, and high heels with everything. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for dressing up, but just not all the fucking time. When I packed up what I wanted to bring, I mostly avoided my main wardrobe and instead raided the one in our spare bedroom that housed all my favourite but hardly ever worn clothes.
“Ohhh, look what I’ve found,” Aunt Addy says as she leans into the back of the larder cupboard, dragging me from my thoughts. I can’t help but smile when she emerges with a can of pineapple slices. “Are you in the mood for a pineapple upside down cake?” she asks with a knowing wink. Aunt Addy’s well aware it’s my all-time favourite, and there’s no chance of me turning it down.
* * *
“I swear I’m going to be explode,” I complain, holding onto my stomach.
“You needed a good meal inside you, sweetheart. What have you been eating over there? There’s hardly anything of you.”
“Vegetables,” I mutter in disgust. “Where’s a good place to get a room for the night?” I would love to stay here but I know Aunt Addy doesn’t have much space, so I don’t want to presume she’ll take me in.
“Don’t be silly, girl. You’ll stay here. I can’t offer anything fancy, but the sofa pulls out to a bed that’s pretty comfortable. Sinead and I have sleepovers on it,” she says with a smile, referring to her granddaughter.
“Are you sure? I really don’t want to get in the way.”
“Of course. Here,” she says, topping up my wine glass again. “We’ve got so much more to talk about.”
An hour later and we’ve cleaned up the kitchen—which I have to admit was a bit of a novelty because, embarrassingly, I can’t actually remember the last time I washed up or did any actual cleaning—and we are sat back in the living room with our pyjamas on, wine glasses in hand.
Aunt Addy gave me a quick tour of the place and I realised why she hasn’t got a guest bedroom. The master bedroom is fitted out as a workshop for her. There’s a huge cutting table in the middle the room, more sewing machines than I’d know what to do with, and fabric, cotton and embellishment stuff everywhere you look. I think it’s about two buttons away from being a haberdashery shop. In comparison to her huge workroom, her bedroom is the box room with a single bed and only a small walkway of space with all the furniture she’s managed to shoehorn into it.
“What’re your plans now you’re here then?”
“Finding somewhere to live is my first priority. Then, I want to bake. I’m thinking maybe cakes to start with. I don’t really know; I need to check out what kind of competition there might be around here. I don’t have a huge amount of money to get started because most of it is tied up in investment accounts that Edward organised.”
Aunt Addy tells me about the local bakery I loved as a kid shutting down a while ago, as well as Nora on the other side of town who does wedding cakes—but she thinks mine would be much better as hers are a little old fashioned. I’m not sure I agree; I haven’t made anything detailed in years. I’m probably well out of practice.
We chat for hours about this and that as we slowly get tipsier. It the best night I’ve had in a long time, reminiscing on the old days as well as catching up on what we’ve been up to more recently.
When Aunt Addy leaves the room, I run my eyes over the ornaments and photos. My focus stops on one of her, her daughter, and her granddaughter. The lump that set me off earlier reappears the longer I stare at the three of them.
“I’m so sorry,” I say when Aunt Addy comes back into the room a few minutes later.
“Wha—” she starts but cuts herself off when she sees what I’m looking at.
“I’m so sorry I couldn’t come to her funeral.”
“You were on your honeymoon, sweetheart. I understand.”
“I know.” And I do know that Aunt Addy is okay about it, but that doesn’t mean I am. Edward and I were in the Bahamas when Kayleigh suddenly died three years ago. I desperately wanted to be there but he convinced me it was too much to get flights. I couldn’t see his selfishness at the time but it’s something about him I’ve grown to really dislike over the years. Since her death, I’ve only seen Aunt Addy once, and that was for a quick two day visit when Edward went away on a work trip two years ago. I’m ashamed to say that I’ve been too wrapped up in work to make the time. I know I should have, and I feel awful. I wasn’t there for her when her daughter died, or her parents last year. “I should have been here for you.”
“You were living your life, Addison. No one can blame you for that.”
“I got so wrapped up in that world that I kind of lost sight of what’s really important. That’s going to change, though.”
Not long later, Aunt Addy helps me make up the sofa bed and we settle down for the night. I’m pretty drunk by the time my head hits the pillow; the room’s spinning a little but the excitement still bubbles up in my stomach.
Tomorrow, I’m starting my new life.
