Page 80 of Dangerous Encore
Okay, I also want to support my friends and destroy myenemies.
But it's always been about bringingpeoplejoy.
Then I met Bella, and I felt this want I'd never feltbefore.
She's my other half. The thing that fills that emptiness inmygut.
All thatcheesyshit.
I could be happy with her, like this,forever.
I've never thought about having a family. Notreally.
But I canseeit.
I can see her reading our kidHarry Potterbooks and dressing him in some tiny Ravenclawjersey.
I can see her sitting on the couch with him, watching some kid's show, shooting meoh my God, how can anyone over the age of three find this entertaininglooks every fewminutes.
I can see myself teaching himdrums.
And I can see her dragging him away fromthekit.
But it's hard to see much outside of this apartment. Outside of the twoofus.
Well, the threeofus.
I know a million people have juggled work and kids, people who make a lot less money than I do, people who have a muchharderlife.
Plenty of musiciansdoit.
But it's hard to envision thatfuture.
Even if everybody would be happyforme.
Even if we're alreadyslowingdown.
The bedroom door creeks open. Bella steps into the main room in her tank top and pajama bottoms. She's holding her glasses with one hand, rubbing her eyes with theother.
"Tell me you're only wearing boxers." She slides her glasses on. "Youare."
"I was supposed totellyou."
She presses her lips into a smile. "Last night was… it was good.Thanks,Joel."
"Comehere."
Shedoes.
I wrap my arms around her. She's still tense. Hell, she'sshaking.
She rests her head against my chest as she leans into my touch. Her fingers curl into myupperback.
Her breath warms my skin. "I should probably abandon any plans I had of convincing you I'm doinggreat."
"Probably." I run my fingers through her hair. Our life together is perfect. It's scary, thinking about changing it. But it'sgoodtoo.
If I can fucking figure out how to be the kind of parent I wanttobe.
