Page 141 of Dangerous Encore
"None?" Mom presses her hand to her heart. "You really know which of your cousins are willing to sit next to eachother?"
"We're doing something small," I say. "Just friends and immediatefamily."
"You're not going to invite your cousins?"Momasks.
"No." I stab another meatball. This one is the same tomatoey goodness, but it's lackingtaste.
"Grandma?" Mom stares at me like I'm striking a dagger through herheart.
"No, I'm not." My wine is equally void offlavor.
"You don't love your family?"Momasks.
This is bullshit.Right?
I look to Mal forconfirmation.
He stares back at me, his eyes wide withconcern.
He arches a browareyouokay?
I am. Ithinkso.
I canhandlethis.
"Mom, it's not like that. I know you're trying to help, but I'd appreciate it if you'd let me and Mal handle it." I unfold and refold mynapkin.
"Judith, you know Lacey loves your mother. She still sends her Christmas cards," Dad jumps to mydefense.
"Oh." Mom presses her lips together. "You send Grandma Christmas cards but I don't rate a phone call onMother'sDay?"
"Mom, can we not?"Iask.
"I don't know. Can we not? You don't want my help with your wedding. You don't want my input on your wedding dress. You send cards to Grandma but not to me. What can we do?" Anger bleeds into her voice. "Do you love meatall?"
"Mom, don't start. This is why I haven't sent youacard."
"Yes, I know. I'm a horrible mother. I don't even deserve a call on mybirthday."
"That's not whatImean."
"I'm that awful." She blinks back a tear. "I'm ruiningyourlife."
"You can't lay on these guilt trips because you don't like what I'm saying." I push my plate away. "If you want to be in my life, you need to respect myboundaries."
"Now I don't respect you?" Mom wipes her eyes with hernapkin.
"Stop it!" I push myself to my feet. "Stop trying to guilt me into giving in. This is why I don't spend time with you. Because you always make me feellikeshit."
Mal gets up and wraps his arms around me. "Come on, baby,let'sgo."
"I want you in my life, Mom. But not if you're going to manipulate me every chance you get." Now, I'm blinking back tears. "If you want to be invited to my wedding, you'll apologize. No… even that won't beenough."
"You're not inviting me to your wedding?" Mom scrunches her napkin into a tiny ball. "This is the daughter Iraised?"
"It's that kind of thing." My voice is shaky. My hands too. I take a deep breath. I need to get this out. "You can't treat me like this if you want to be inmylife."
Momscoffs.
