Page 77 of Dangerous Encore
There must be something going on in his life. Maybe he is seeingsomeone.
I make a mental note to ask my sister as I take my last sip of tea. "Morecoffee?"
He nods. "Thanks,sweetheart."
I take Dad's cup and get us both refills then I rejoin him on thecouch.
This is like our old Sundays. Before Mom died. Before he closed off and I took on all the weight of keeping upappearances.
My parents always had high expectations—Dad still does. They werestrict.
But they werelovingtoo.
They were good parents. Dadstillis.
I settle into my seat. "When did you and Mom decide tohavekids."
His eyes flare withunderstanding. "Oh."
"Oh?" Why is everyone reactinglikethat?
"It would be difficult, having kids with him on the road. If you want to keepworking."
"Itwould."
"I understand why you're thinking about turning down thatpromotion."
"I… Uh… it's apossibility."
"You can hire help. You loved your nanny,didn'tyou?"
"Idid."
"Your mother would have hated to see you quit your job and stay home, but if that's what you want, if that's what will make you happy… there's nothing wrong with devoting your life to your children. You and Anne were the two best decisions ofmylife."
"Really?"
"Ofcourse."
I lean a little closer. "When did you know you wereready?"
"You're never ready. Notreally."
"But we were… we wereplanned."
Dad chuckles. "Yes, we were trying for a while before wehadAnne."
"When did you decide to starttrying?"
His eyes get dreamy as he shifts into memories. It's a rare look for Dad, reserved for thoughts of Mom. "It was your mom's third year at work. She finally felt like she had a handle on working as a lawyer. She finally felt like shehadtime."
"Didshe?"
He laughs. "You know how she was. She gave up sleep before she gave up something she wanted." Regret creeps into his voice. "Nothing would have slowedherdown."
Dad and I have gotten a lot closer since I married Joel. It's strange, us talking more now that I live three thousand miles away. But it's easier being honest withhimnow.
Even so, I rarely see him thisvulnerable.
