Page 79 of Dirty Husband
"I'm going to look for something else. But I'm not sure what. I don't think any other firms will hire me. Or… if they will, it will be because I'm engaged to the enemy, and they want to trot me out like a symbol. Look, it's Shepard Marlowe's wife. We can use her to get to him. We're important. Something like that."
He does it again.
I go to slide my hands into my pockets, but I'm not wearing a coat. It's warm today. Beautiful actually. My sweater dress—one I bought on sale at Nordstrom to treat myself on my twenty-first birthday—is already too thick for the weather.
But I like the thickness of the fabric. And the dark color. They're shields. To hide all the things going through my head.
"I actually slept in today," I say. "I can't remember the last time that happened."
He finishes stirring the sauce. Turns the burner to warm. Goes to fixing the ground pork.
"How's the apartment treating you?"
"It must be expensive."
"Shep's covering it."
Again, thehmmm.
"He volunteered." Sort of. "I, um, I wanted to have an easier time visiting with you. Isn't this easier? We can walk to the park." We can't make it to Battery Park or Central Park or the Brooklyn Botanical Garden. But we can walk to Browne Park. Or something a little farther out.
"I like the apartment."
"Good."
"It's our apartment."
"Yeah."
"You should be here. Until you do get married."
I want to. So badly. But I can't tell him that. He'll get the wrong idea. "It's going to be soon. We're just getting ready."
"You're marrying soon?" He turns back to me, studies my expression.
I nod.
"Are you pregnant?"
"Dad!"
"Why else?"
I say nothing, but that doesn't matter. He reads it all over my face. Not the ruse or the deal I've made with Shep. The reason I agreed.
Because Dad is sick. Because he might die. Because I want him to walk me down the aisle.
"Jasmine…"
"You won't change my mind."
"He does make you happy?"
"Yes. But I'd be happier with a cup of tea."
He nodsof course. Turns the water to hot and starts to wash his hands. "You don't distract me."
"I know."
