Page 143 of Dirty Husband
"I always thought about you. Tying you to my bed. Pinning you to the wall. Wrapping my hand around your throat as I fucked you."
My thighs shudder. "You're teasing?"
"A little."
"To distract me?"
"Myself. I don't want to think about the other men. I hate that someone else has made you come. I hate that someone else has heard your groan."
"You still…" I swallow hard. I should hold on to this. Make him sweat it. But I can't. "I was never with Nick. I wouldn't. Even if I wanted revenge. He's like an older brother."
His eyes glue to mine.
"I… could have said something earlier—"
"But you wanted to keep me jealous?"
I nod.
He smiles, impressed. "You've always been shrewd."
I'm not sure I should be flattered by his compliment—he's calling me manipulative—but I am. "Thank you."
"So, I imagine I don't have to explain this to you. That we had to let Marcus pay for this trip. Buy our tickets, pick our hotel, arrange our plans."
I nod. I may not know the details, but I know rich men. It's always a power play.
"I wish it was easier. I wish we were in a private plane. I wish your father was well. I wish we were marrying because we're madly in love. I wish this wasn't complicated. But it is."
"I know."Do you think it's possible? That you could love me? That this could be simple?It's a silly question. But it keeps echoing in my head.
"I will need to show you off." Shep does nothing to mask the desire in his voice. "I'm sure it will feel objectifying at times. Men see a beautiful woman and they make assumptions. They expect things. I'll protect you as much as I can, but I can't stop what's in their heads." His voice shifts to something honest. Vulnerable even. "Sometimes I forget you're only here because I've paid you."
"That isn't exactly—"
"I know. But I also know how the world works." He shifts into his seat, his eyes on the seat in front of his. "You're a romantic at heart. You want to marry someone who will love you. You want to have kids your dad can hold. And you want to show them what it means to follow your dreams. But you're a smart woman. You understand the world doesn't always allow that."
Since when does everyone think I'm a romantic?
He looks to me. "I can't give you that. But I can be… softer. I can try."
"Thank you."
His fingers slide over his paper cup. It's a mindless gesture. Something he doesn't realize. "You need to promise me something."
I nodof course.
"You need to tell me you understand I'm not capable of loving you. It's got nothing to do with you, Jasmine. It's me. This curse I'm under…" He shakes his head. "I'll love your company. I'll love your wit, your beauty, your determination. I'll love the way you respond to my touch. But I'll never fall in love with you."
"Of course," I lie. "I understand completely."
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Shepard
Time zones aren't on our side. We arrive a few hours after midnight.
Still, someone greets us at our apartment. They smile as if it's the middle of the afternoon and happily show us around.
