Page 142 of Dirty Husband
He nodsof course.
"Or we could go to the theater. Spend an afternoon in Central Park. Do you go to the park? Or is there too much mud?"
He half-smiles. "I'm not sure I've ever seen you covered in dirt."
It's true. I've never been the type to garden or hike or play with paint.
"I'm not sure I've ever seen you in flat shoes." He motions to my wedge sandals.
"I'm short."
"You're not." He shakes his head. "The average woman is five four."
"I'm average? Wow, I've never heard such a compliment."
His chuckle is easy. "Slightly above average."
"Stop. You're making me blush."
His expression shifts to something I can't place. Some look that screams of love and affection. "We'll be away from prying eyes soon. Then, we can do more. I… I want to protect you as much as I can." He motions to the aisle and the seats across from us. "Usually, I'd charter a private plane. More time to myself. Or ourselves." His intention drops into his voice.More time to tear off your clothes and fuck you senseless.
Or maybe it's the sex maniac who's taken over my brain. "Have you done that before?"
"Do you really want the answer to that?"
He might as well say yes. I bite my tongue.
"I like you jealous. I've never seen it on you."
"I'm not—"
"You are," he says. "I am too. I want to kill any man who's ever touched you."
"Oh." My cheeks flush. His possessiveness shouldn't soothe me, but it does.
"You were my first."
"You were mine."
His smile shifts. More nostalgic. Sad even. "After I got sober, sex was the only thing that made sense. It wasn't solely physical. Not exactly. But it wasn't personal either."
"You don't have to explain. You didn't owe me anything."
"But you're still jealous."
I nod.
"My tastes were always there. But I was afraid to give into them. I was afraid I'd scare you. That I'd scare myself."
I'm not sure what to say. Would I have accepted his need for control at sixteen? I doubt it. Even if I was interested—and I would have been—I would have been too shy.
"With other women… it was easier. I didn't care what they thought of me. And there were so many who wanted that. Who helped me figure it out."
I bite my tongue.
"I did care for some of them. But not the way I care for you."
"Oh."
