Page 114 of Dirty Husband
Someone cheers. Someone else claps.
I dive in before the audience can take over. "When I say I can't wait, I mean it. We're going to be married two weeks from today. And everyone here is invited." I turn to the crowd. "Please, join me as I celebrate the most wonderful woman I've ever met." I make my voice teasing. "I have to do it fast. Before she changes her mind."
Everyone laughs.
Jasmine too.
She smiles at the crowd like she's well aware of my surprise announcement.
Everyone smiles back. Happy. In love with our love.
And there's Lucien. Happy. That I'm playing his stupid fucking game.
Happy. Firm in his knowledge that I'm faking this.
Somehow, that bastard always knows.
Chapter Thirty
Shepard
Jasmine smiles as we make rounds. Shake hands. Accept congratulations.
She plays the blushing bride well. Or maybe she's nervous. Or embarrassed by my speech. I don't know.
He's still here.
I'm still unable to breathe.
I play my part the best I can. Pretend as if I'm so overwhelmed by love I can't speak.
Colleagues believe it. Or they don't care enough to deny it.
She's beautiful, smart, determined. Who wouldn't want to marry her?
It's easier when we meet her family. She declines another drink, but she doesn't protest when her father orders a glass of whiskey. She just laughs along with her aunts. Lets them tease her about her duties as a married woman. The lingerie they'll buy her for a honeymoon. The need to make lots of grandchildren.
It's a bizarre thought, having children with Jasmine. Once upon a time, I wanted that. A family of my own. A normal life. A job, a car, a house in the suburbs.
Then that bastard changed everything. Now, it's impossible to imagine.
What if I followed in his footsteps?
It's out of the question. But then that doesn't matter. Her family doesn't need to know the terms of our arrangement.
So I nod and say something about how beautiful our children will be if they get their mother's eyes.
And she says something about how ruthless they'll be if they get their father's negotiation skills.
And her aunts say something about how cute they'll be. The first bi-racial kids in the family. They want to welcome them. Invite them to participate in both sides of their culture.
What is that like? To grow up split in half, not knowing where you belong?
There's no reason to consider it. I can't have children. I can't risk passing on this curse.
Finally, the party breaks up. Lucien and Charles leave without a word. Thank fuck.
Jasmine kisses me goodbye. Insists on riding home with her father. On making sure he gets home okay.
