Page 73 of Come Apart
Chapter Twelve
Ineed to help Samantha.
I don't want to lose another person who was such an integral part of my past.
Mom's gone. Even my father, such as he was.
If Sam's gone...
I don't want to think about it.
And not because I'm still in love with her.
Honestly, at this point... I'm not sure I ever really was.
It was puppy love, friendship, admiration maybe. Something much less deep and true than what I have with Alyssa.
But back then it felt real. And I held on to it tightly, even after we graduated law school, even after she started to pull away.
I knew something was fucking going on. I didn't know what it was, but I knew something was different. She stayed at work late. She spent weekends with girlfriends she hadn't seen in years. She made excuses about why she didn't want to have sex.
She was having an affair with my father.
Edward fucking Lawrence.
He was her boss. Senior partner at the firm.
Hell of it was, I basically got her the job, more or less.
I put her right in his path.
She spent the better part of a year having this affair, lying to me, getting more and more obvious.
I just didn't want to see it.
That should have been a sign I was already checked out. I can't imagine looking the other way with Alyssa. Ever.
But then, one day, Sam broke down in tears. She told me what was going on. Not to beg for forgiveness, but to explain why she was breaking up with me.
She was in love with him.
Not that it ended up mattering. Asshole that he was, Edward rejected her when she tried to start a real relationship with him.
Because it wouldn't look right, would it?
She wasn't even mad at him for it. She understood completely. I guess they always had that in common, that obsession with how things look.
Fuck how things look. I should have walked away. I should have wiped my hands clean of both of them and moved on with my life.
But I didn't.
Instead, I begged Samantha to take me back. To give me another chance. I promised I'd treat her better, love her more, give her everything he did.
But I didn't.
I was too hurt, too angry. And not in love with her. Not even in infatuation. I ignored her. We went on like that for a few months. It wouldn't have lasted.
But then things went from bad to really fucked. Edward had a heart attack.
