Page 69 of Come Apart
"She's depressed. And lonely."
Alyssa voice lowers. "I don't like the sound of that."
I turn away from the windows. "For a friend. Only a friend."
"Yeah, sure..." She sighs. "No. I trust you. I don't trust her, but I trust you."
I sink into the bed. It's too soft. A crappy piece of a crappy hotel. "How have you been managing with Laurie? She's been a little crazy on Twitter." She posts about the show every hour on the hour. Not that I'm really interested in how Laurie is.
But Alyssa isn't going to respond to an obvious offensive move.
"She's been reading a lot of reviews."
Oh no.
"Have you?"
"Yeah."
I wait for her to say more, but she's quiet. The air is stale, immobile. It must be this quiet in her room. This motionless.
"How is that going?" I ask carefully.
"Not great." She sighs. "It was an awful, stupid idea. It's not like this is the first time I've been down this road. People always have their opinions. And even the people who like the show get things wrong, or have inane interpretations. I thought I learned my lesson onTogether. OrMahogany.Jesus. That one was brutal."
"It has almost ninety percent on Rotten Tomatoes."
"Yeah, ninety percent liked the movie. They didn't necessarily like my acting."
She takes a deep breath, no doubt waiting for my objection. I can't argue here. She needs to talk.
Maybe she's ready to open up more.
"Tell me about it," I urge.
"I can feel my stomach do somersaults because I'm so nervous to keep reading the review. Cause I know it's due to mention my performance any second. And then I spend an hour poring over the two lines devoted to me. I analyze every single word. And then I can't stop thinking about it for the rest of the night."
I shake my head, feeling second hand anxiety from how she describes the experience.
"Jesus. That sucks."
"I knew better, but Laurie was obsessing so much. I was too curious not to look. I should have more self-control." She sighs.
I hear her shifting. Getting on her bed, probably.
It's almost like we're together. Both of us in bed, in our empty rooms, our attention only on the phone.
"If I was there, I could distract you."
"Luke..."
I slide back on the bed. "What's wrong?"
I can hear it in the tone of her voice.
"Nothing... just... I wish you had been here."
I close my eyes, feeling that bite of guilt.
