Page 150 of Come Apart
"I trust you not to manipulate me."
"But she can manipulate you all she wants?"
I stand and grab Alyssa's wrists. She gasps, but she doesn't fight me.
I pull her closer, until she's only inches away. Her eyes find mine, scanning them like she'll find some answer.
"She's almost there," I say. "She has a job and a place to live. All I want to do is make sure she has someone she can call if things get bad."
Her eyes narrow. "It's called a therapist."
"Then I'll make sure she has a therapist. But you've been where she is. You know a therapist isn't going to be enough to convince her to get better."
She pushes me away. Hard. "Fuck you. I've never been where she is. She's in some kind of bullshit, made-up problems, manipulation land. I never once tried to use my eating disorder for sympathy. Ever."
"That's not what I meant."
"Is that why you like me? Because I'm your replacement crazy girlfriend?" She shakes me off.
"Don't touch me right now," she orders.
I lower my voice. "You know that isn't true."
"What do I know? Maybe you saw some other wounded bird you needed to nurse back to health and that was all that mattered. You had a mission—to liberate me from Ryan—and you did it well. So good job."
"Don't say that," I say.
"Maybe it's true."
My eyes find hers. "If you believe you're nothing more to me than a cheap replacement, then leave right now."
She holds my gaze. Neither one of us is going to back down from this.
My voice is rough. "And if you believe, for a second, that I don't love you, then leave right now."
She takes a shallow breath. Her eyes are on fire, but she says nothing.
"Is that what you believe?" I ask.
"No. But I'm still not sharing you with Samantha."
"All I'm doing is repaying a debt."
She rolls her eyes.
Anger grows inside me. She understands how this feels. I know she does.
"Don't tell me you've never felt like that," I say.
"So what if I have? I'm still not sharing you with her." She moves to the sliding door and steps into the apartment.
I follow her. "Alyssa."
"You sound like Ryan."
"That isn't some bomb you can drop to destroy a conversation." I take another step towards her. "I'm not going to give up on this that easily."
"And I'm not sharing you with her. End of story." She moves to the table to collect her bag. "You don't even like her anymore. Hell, you probably hate her. You're still holding a grudge against Ryan. How could you not hate her?"
