Page 15 of Come Apart
I heard the front door slam, her car turn on, the tires screeching as she rushed out of our godforsaken neighborhood.
It was foggy that morning. That night. Whatever it was.
But it was always foggy. She should have been used to it. She would have been okay if she hadn't been crying.
If she hadn't been upset.
All I felt at the time was relief at the interruption of the fight.
It didn't last long.
The police were at the door a few hours later.
The sun was just peeking through the horizon, illuminating the vibrant green lawns, the pure azure ocean. The whole damn sky was filled with color.
I was still a kid, but I knew what was coming as soon as I saw their faces.
Pity. They looked at me with pity.
And I felt my heart squeeze in my chest. "I'm sorry, son." The officer had kind eyes. Not that it mattered in that moment. "Your mother was in an accident. She... didn't make it."
Everything changed with those three words.
She didn't make it. The color drained from my world.
Everything was dull and dim. They kept speaking, but their words were a jumbled mess in my ears.
Everything was wrong.
I couldn't just stand there, but I couldn't leave with them on the porch. So I waited until they went inside to talk to my father. And then... I ran.
I didn't stop to put on shoes or change.
Who cared? Nothing mattered.
I ran barefoot, in my pajamas. Until the sun was high in the sky. Until my legs gave out. I finally collapsed under some overgrown tree as the pain seeped in passed the shock. I curled up into a ball and cried.
I learned that no matter what cruel blow life dealt you, it just...went on.
There was no pause button on life. I didn't spend the next ten years numb and empty.
But the colors were never as sharp.
Food never tasted as good.
From then on, there was always something missing, some awful gray dullness layered over the world.
I was with other women before Alyssa, and I was happy. But there was still something so drab about my life.
Until I met her.
She stared at me, sizing me up. So very bad at hiding how much she wanted me.
And, I can admit it—I wanted to mess with Ryan.
I wanted to flirt with her, to rub it in his face. A nice jab for existing as such an awful human being.
A nice revenge for rubbing his relationship with Alyssa in my face every chance he got.
