Page 131 of Come Apart
I want to tell her to go fuck herself, to get over it, to stop being such a selfish bitch.
But I can't.
She clings to me, crying into my suit jacket. She doesn't explain what's wrong. She doesn't have to.
Alyssa was right.
Samantha is in love with me.
When she finally calms down, she wipes her makeup from her eyes. She looks so desperate.
I know I shouldn't try and make her say it, but I need to hear the words. I need her to admit it, so I can know for sure.
"Tell me what's wrong," I say. "Tell me why this upsets you."
Her voice is a low whimper. "Don't make me."
"Please. I need to know the truth."
"What difference does it make?" she asks. "You're in love, and I want you to be happy."
"You don't."
She doesn't deny it.
"I want to. I've done enough to ruin your life. I've done so much to hurt you, Luke. I can't burden you with this too."
"I can take it."
She shakes her head. "I had the right idea before. I'm causing you pain. You're the only person who cares about me, and I'm causing you pain."
"Sam..."
"You shouldn't have come to San Diego. You should have left me alone in that hospital with my thoughts. You should leave me alone now."
"I wanted to be there for you."
"Just go away! This is what I deserve!"
I bite my tongue. She's too old to have these kinds of tantrums.
The platitudes stick in my throat this time.
I can't get the empty words out.
All I can give is my physical presence.
She clings to me, crying until she's utterly spent.
