Page 105 of Come Apart
Alyssa is a nervous wreck. She paces around the pool, her eyes on the concrete.
"How about a walk?" I offer.
She nods, but her attention stays on the ground. I'd love to grab her and pin her to the couch to thoroughly distract her, but that is only going to make things harder.
She collects her shoes and purse and we make our way to the marina.
It's a nice day. Warm and sunny.
But Alyssa is obviously uncomfortable. She walks fast, clutching her purse like it's a lifesaver.
I give her space. I'm going to do everything I can to make it easier.
She stops at a curve and presses her hands against the metal railings. Her gaze is on the water, but she's a million miles away.
"We can talk about it," I offer.
She shakes her head and digs her hands into the railing. "No, we should probably pick up something to use." She motions to the shopping center a few blocks away.
"I can do it for you."
"No, I have to do it. Buy a box of cookies and only eat one." She turns her gaze to me, studying me.
She's watching for a sign I can't handle this.
"Let's do it."
I offer my hand. She nods, wiping her palms on her dress and wrapping her fingers around mine. She squeezes tight.
"You can do this," I say.
She nods. "Let's not talk about it too much."
I let her take the lead.
We change direction and move towards the store. It's a natural foods store, the kind of yuppie place Samantha and her future Tesla-owning husband would love.
The automatic doors slide open and we step inside.
Everything in the store is white and bright and the aisles are cramped. Alyssa wanders around the aisles, squeezing my hand tighter and tighter.
She stares at a shelf of chips like she doesn't understand it.
"Ally..."
"I'm fine." She turns quickly, moving to the next aisle. There's still a look of dread on her face. Like she's about to jump off a bridge.
"You sure?"
"The constant questions don't help."
She panicked last time. It was her thoughts tricking her and telling her she's a failure. I can't shrink myself and jump into her brain, but I can keep her attention here.
"You never told me which of your high school parts was your favorite."
She smiles slightly.
"You're so obvious."
