Page 88 of Come Apart
Her eyes turn to the ground. "You were with her."
I need to stay calm, to prove to her that she can always trust me. But she should have called.
She promised.
"You're mad," she says.
"No, I'm just..."
"Disappointed?" She says it like it's the worst thing she's ever heard.
I sidestep the word.
"You promised.”
She bites her lip.
“I’m glad you’re okay. That’s what matters."
"I'm sorry."
I shake my head. "I want to help you."
She takes a step back. "It’s better this way. I should do this on my own."
"You're going to take on your entire eating disorder recovery all by yourself?"
She presses her hands against the railing. "I have my sponsor and my therapist."
That fucking hurts.
"You have me too."
"I have you if I'm doing well. But if I keep fucking up, you'll keep looking at me like I'm some priceless work of art in desperate need of restoration."
"That's not true."
I reach for her hand, but she takes another step away.
"Alyssa."
"I get it. I'm a disappointment. You thought you were different than Ryan, that you would be the one to fix me, but now that it's difficult..." She takes another step away.
I grab her wrists. "I'm here for the long haul. No matter how hard it is."
She shakes her head. "We should go. I don't want you to be late."
"I don’t give a fuck about being late."
"I'd like to go."
I take a deep breath, letting it out in a low hiss. "Fine. But only if you promise to come over tonight."
"Not to talk," she says immediately.
"Yes to talk." I lighten my grip and take another step towards her. "I'm not going to let you lock me out."
Her voice is barely a whisper. "I don't owe you anything."
"So do it because you love me. Or because you know how much it would mean to me." I wrap my arms around her waist. "Or because you want to fuck me."
She lets out a tiny, surprised laugh. "I'll consider it."
"I'll do anything I can to help you."
"I know." She nods. "But, right now, I don’t need to talk.” She looks up at me with that hungry expression.
I need that too.
I need every inch of her.
