Page 169 of Come Apart
"What you said. Of course. How can you be so fucking smart?"
She smiles, but it's guarded. "It's a curse."
"You were right. I've been trying so hard to be there for her that I forgot how much I fucking hated her."
"You hate everyone."
I nod. "Not you."
"Lucky me." She runs her fingers through my hair.
Her eyes are locked on mine.
"You don't think you're lucky?" I ask.
"Smug asshole." Her lips curl into a smile. She's relenting. "What did Ryan say?"
"He said you were only using me for sex. That you were done with me."
"That's awfully progressive for Ryan," she remarks.
"And I wouldn't blame you if you were. I mean, look at me."
"I think we've established that you're sexy as hell."
I feel her fingers on my skin. There's such a warmth to it. A softness.
She pulls away the frozen fruit and locks eyes with me. "That was your offer—to be my revenge fuck?"
I shake my head.
"I could not have handled that. I would have gone crazy thinking about you."
"This isn't crazy?" She nods to my black eye. Runs her fingers over my bruised knuckles.
"This is inevitable. I've been daydreaming about punching Ryan since he called you a whore."
"And it has nothing to do with you?"
I shake my head. "Oh no, it was ninety percent me. He's been a condescending asshole for years. Did you know he always acts like he's my boss?"
She stares at me like I'm hopeless. She's right, in some ways.
But I won't give up on her, or on us. And I don't think she'll give up on me.
"How would you have gone crazy?"
"Honestly, Ally, you had me hooked from the minute I met you and shamelessly flirted with you to make Ryan jealous."
She narrows her eyes at me. "I knew it."
"I would have said anything to keep you in my apartment that night. I had convinced myself it was better than nothing. Maybe it would have been."
Her cheeks flush. "You can't distract me with memories of sex."
"It would have killed me to see you stay with Ryan. It did kill me."
She's here, in my apartment, cleaning me up.
