Page 77 of Come to Me
I frown, thinking of a younger, more vulnerable Alyssa.
"That must have been lonely."
"It was nothing," she says.
"It's not nothing."
"You know what it's like to grow up lonely."
"You can admit you hurt once," I murmur. "I'm not going to think less of you."
She takes a deep breath. "I'm not sure if I'm ready to start thinking about that."
"Okay."
"I'm sorry. I'm disappointing you. I'm such a mess."
"You're not."
"Don't lie. I am." She takes another deep breath.
"Okay. You're a mess, but you're my mess. Besides, I'm not so fucking neat either."
She chuckles, the sound a little choked.
"That's true."
"Watch it."
She laughs. Finally. "Thanks, Luke."
There's such a warmth to it. For a moment, I'm sure everything between us will be okay. I'm sure she'll be okay.
The muscles in my back relax. "I need to circle back to the original point. Have you thought about the wedding at all?"
"It's been like four days."
"I don't particularly want to plan something for five years. I want to be married. To you."
She laughs, again, but this time there's a nervousness to it. "You're so fucking cheesy."
"I can envision a hundred different weddings. We could do it at some fantastic hotel ballroom or in the park or even at city hall. Whatever you want."
"I haven't thought about it."
"Were you planning anything with Ryan?" I regret the words the minute I say them.
"I don't know. He was taking care of it." She sighs. "I'm sure he would have invited everyone he knows. And I'm sure it would have just been some ridiculous, lavish affair. And I am sure I would have hated it."
I can see it. I can see a massive wedding at an obscenely expensive hotel, the room adorned with so many flowers it sets a new definition for ostentatious. It would be the perfect excuse for Ryan to show off all his money. An even more perfect excuse for him to show off his fresh, new trophy wife. "Luke," she says. "You there?"
"I'm here."
Even if here is 3,000 miles away.
"I'll start thinking about the wedding." She says it with a sigh, like it's a burden.
"I don't care about the fucking wedding. I just want to marry you."
