Page 135 of Come to Me
Yes.
"I'm guessing you weren't calling him this morning begging for more forgiveness."
Her eyes find mine. There's shame in her expression. She's ashamed of whatever it is she was doing with Ryan that wasn't sex.
"Ally, you're killing me here."
"What Nicholas said got to me. I know I can be difficult to reach... anyway." Her voice gets low and soft. "The last three months... you weren't exactly trying to reach me."
She's right.
"I know. I'm sorry."
She shifts out of the sun, so she's turned away from me. "I had to know if Ryan felt the same way. If he really thought being with me was that miserable. He's the only other man I've been with. I thought maybe he'd have some insight on what's going wrong with us."
She called her ex to get insight into our relationship.
I'd laugh if I didn't feel like grabbing Ryan's perfectly coiffed hair and slamming his head against any hard surface within reach.
"And?"
"He said he'd never manipulate me. On purpose."
"I doubt he would call it manipulation."
"Can we not start about Ryan?" She asks. She shifts off the rock and unfurls on the ground.
"I'm pretty sure you started this." I lay down next to her, my anger tempered slightly as I take in her demeanor.
She looks more tired than anything.
"But I need to know why you didn't tell me about Ryan. Or Nicholas for that matter."
"Honestly... I didn't think there was anything to say about Nicholas before he showed up in my dressing room. And I knew you would overreact about Ryan."
"You know everything. Don't you?"
"Luke... Don't start."
"Don't start? Seriously? Then tell me what the fuck is going on. Why are you talking to Ryan about our relationship?"
"I wasn't," she insists. "I was talking to him about my relationship to him." She opens her eyes and looks straight at me. "As I recall, you spent a lot of time talking to Samantha, your ex-fiancée, about your relationship with her. In fact, I recall her trying to kill herself and you rushing to her hospital room. You were with her for weeks! What high horse do you think you're on?"
One week. My ex-fiancée tried to kill herself, and I spent a week with her. To make sure she was okay. Eventually, she overstepped the boundaries of our friendship. Hell, she begged me to leave Alyssa for her.
But I ended her friendship over it.
"And?" I ask.
"I deserve a little bit of the same leeway."
I scrub at my face, stubble scraping my fingers.
Maybe she's right, and she deserves a bit of leeway. She wanted closure with her ex, fine.
But she should be talking to me about this.
"Okay. But if you're afraid I can't reach you, that I'm not willing to try—why aren't you talking to me about that?"
