Page 44 of Come to Me
I can only imagine being in that position.
"It must be miserable to feel like that."
She nods. "I really don't know if I can do this, but how am I supposed to function with all of this doubt drowning me? I can't."
"You can't run away from it."
"I have to. That's the only way I can get through this."
"I know you hate when I try and play therapist."
She nods. "Yeah."
"So what if you started seeing someone again?"
She blinks a tear away, her eyes on the ground. God, I wish I was really there. So I could hold her and kiss her and promise everything would be okay.
"It's not that I don't want to hear it," I reassure her.
"Okay."
"You can talk to me. About anything. Tell me every ugly thought you have. I'll listen."
She shakes her head. "Not right now. I have to get through this first."
Dammit. We were off to a good start. "Are you sure?"
"I'm going to go," she murmurs. "I'm really tired."
"Ally."
"It's not a big deal."
"That's bullshit. You just said that you're drowning in doubt."
"But I'm used to it."
A long silence passes. She's sitting there, alone in that little apartment, the New York skyline filling the room with light. And I'm here, in our living room, nothing around me but grass and pavement.
"Do you remember what you said to me after I punched Ryan?"
She smiles. "That you're a hopeless idiot?"
"Besides that."
She shakes her head.
"You told me I don't have to handle everything alone. That you want to be there to share the burden with me."
She nods.
"I do."
"So let me share this burden with you. I want to be there for you too. This isn't a one-way street."
Her shoulders drop.
"I can't, Luke. Not right now. I can't. I'm sorry. But there's too much. I can't afford to fall apart now."
