Page 154 of The Baby Bargain

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Maybe that too fast fuck on the couch was—

Even if she's not, she's going to get there. And when she does.

If I'm a fucking virus, I need to know. I can't spread that to her kid. Even if I want to be in her life. In their lives.

"It's okay if you don't want to." She slurps noodles into her mouth. Chews. Swallows.

Every molecule of my body is screaming to know.

But the possibility that I'm the cause of all this shit?

Fuck, I don't know if I can take that evidence.

Maybe I need some kind of twelve step program. Hi, I'm Chase Keating and I destroy everyone I love. As soon as I remove myself, they get better.

After I kicked out Hunter—

After I gave Mom an ultimatum—

After Grace left.

She landed a seventy-two-hour hold while she was with me.

And now—

"It's healthy, to move on." She sets her fork down.

It's possible.

"Maybe… maybe this is a step. To moving on. Seeing that we're all better off."

Most of us, at least.

"It's up to you, Chase. I… hate the way you talk about yourself." Her voice softens. "You're such a great guy. But you… you're like Batman or Daredevil."

"I'm like Daredevil?"

"Of course." Her voice is dead serious. "Don't tell me the metaphor escapes you." She motions to my bookshelf. "You have like every issue."

"And…"

"And we watched the show together."

"You wanted to watch it."

"Well, yeah. It's got amazing action."

I can't help but laugh. "You convince me to watch superhero shows for the action. I stay for the themes."

"Oh, 'cause I'm a girl." She rolls her eyes. "Grow up, Chase. I've been reading comic books since—"

"I was reading comic books when you were born."

"Okay, but I bet I've read more."

"I'll take that bet." I try to offer her my hand, but my arm is too stiff. I roll my shoulders back. Suck in a deep breath. Push out a full exhale.

She's defusing this already.

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