Page 231 of Accidental Husband
"Don't call me that."
"Juliette…"
I bite my tongue. As much as I want to hate Jackson, I don't. I sympathize. It sucks that his whatever-I-should-call-it ditched him. It sucks that his idea of love is more about being right than him being half a team. It sucks that we wasted the last two years believing in something that wasn't there.
"I just wanted to say congratulations," he says.
"Thank you."
"And…"
I take a deep breath. Exhale slowly.
"How long?"
"What?"
"How long have you been in love with him?"
"You slept with someone else."
"How long?" His voice is ragged. Jealous. Petty.
"I don't know." I wish I had a better answer, but I don't. "I've always loved him."
"But how long—"
Too long, considering. "What do you want me to say, Jackson?"
"The truth."
"It doesn't matter."
"It matters to me."
"Yeah, I've been in love with Griffin for a long time. Yeah, I was in love with him while we were together. But I didn't see it. I thought… I guess I thought I was stuck with what we had."
"We had something good."
"At first. But it changed." It changed after he realized I was cutting again. After I locked him out. Which is my fault. But he let me do it. He… the person he was and the person I was were never going to get through that. "I pushed you away. That's on me. But you didn't try either."
"I…"
"It's not your fault. Or mine. We were young and stupid and hopeful. Maybe I'm still stupid and hopeful. I'm trying to do better this time. But I'm still fucking it up."
"Juliette…"
"I'm sorry, I am. Not that I was in love with Griff. I'll never be sorry about that. But I'm sorry I stayed in limbo for so long. I'm sorry we wasted the last two years. If I was stronger or smarter, I would have ended it earlier."
"You think it was that bad?" he asks.
"Don't you?"
He sighs. It's a sigh I know well.I hate that you're right.
God, I hate that sigh. It always comes with this lookhow could you be right when I'm clearly so much smarter than you are?
But that doesn't matter now.
