Page 81 of Hooking Up

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"Yeah." She plays with the cap of her water bottle. "Me too." She takes a long sip. "I'm good. Really."

She's not.

But then neither am I.

* * *

I pull onto my street.

Iris leans forward to turn the music down. The sounds of pop-rock fall to a murmur—where do they get off continuing to call this station KRockand playing this stuff?

"I, um." She pulls her arms over her chest. "I think I should head home. It's late."

It's not. The sun is just starting to set.

"I took the bus to the shop.” She pulls her backpack onto her lap. "Do you think you can drop me off in Brentwood? It's Saturday, so there shouldn't be too much traffic."

"Yeah, sure." I pull into my parking space. "But I gotta piss first."

"Oh. Sure."

"You can stay in the car or come in."

"I'll use the bathroom too." She shakes her empty water bottle. "And refill this."

I turn the car off, undo my seatbelt, pull the door open, press it shut.

Is this it?

The second shit gets complicated, we walk?

Am I that unable to discuss Sabrina with someone?

To share the one fucking thing I can't figure out with someone?

Iris slides her backpack onto one shoulder and presses the door closed. Her eyes meet mine for a second then they're on the concrete.

I motionafter you.

She moves up the steps and to the door.

I slide my key into the lock and turn the handle. "You can go first."

"Okay." She moves through the living room and goes straight to the bathroom.

I press the door closed and lean against it.

This is bullshit.

I'm better than this. Stronger than this.

A few moments later, Iris steps out of the bathroom. She moves into the kitchen with careful steps. Focuses all her attention on filling her water bottle.

I head to the bathroom, piss, wash my hands.

When I step into the main room, she's sitting on the counter, tapping her feet together, sucking on her water bottle.

"If you want to know something, you can ask," I say.

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