Page 257 of Hooking Up
Chapter Forty-Four
Walker
Istep into the cozy meeting room. Nod asorryto the guy at the podium. Take a seat on one of the scratchy folding chairs in the back.
This is an open meeting. Mom assured me that friends and family are welcome. She offered to come with me. She came close to insisting.
But I have to do this alone.
Whatever happens with me and Iris, I need to make things right with my sister.
All right, I'm hoping that fixing this will fix my head. That it will reconcile those two halves of me—theI want Iris more than I want anythingand thehow will I ever trust her again?
It's worth a shot.
The guy keeps spinning his story of hitting rock bottom. How he missed an important meeting because he was too high. How it led to this ugly spiral. There's hurt in his voice. But that's not what has my attention.
It's the strange pride. He's glad shit got that bad. He's glad he almost lost everything.
It was the only way.
He steps down. Someone else steps up. A meeting leader. Something like that. I went to a few of these with Bree the first time she got sober. After her first relapse, I did everything I could to stop giving a shit.
Not that any of it worked.
He steps down. Points to someone in the crowd.
To Bree.
She stands and moves to the podium. Turns to face the room. Her eyes catch mine. They fill with concern.
I smile.
She smiles back. Mouthsthank you.
I mouthdon't mention it.
She looks to the room. "Hi. I'm Sabrina. And I'm an addict. Most of you know me. I'm here every week. It's been a tough two and a half months. I've been tempted. The other night, I went to the movies with a few friends. There was a bar at the theater. They didn't know I was sober, and I wasn't in the mood to talk about it. I kept looking at the Patron, thinking of how smooth it would taste, how easy it would be to forget that I'd totally fucked-up my brother's life. But I sat with the urge. I felt it. Then I felt it pass. It… It was okay. I wanted it, but I didn't need it." She nods to the room. "Thank you."
She moves back to her seat.
That same guy moves up to the podium, thanks her for speaking, invites someone else.
It goes like that for a while. Everyone spills their guts. Sometimes it's something happy. Pride over hitting a milestone. Sometimes it's a tragic tale of rock bottom. Sometimes it's something small. A slip or an almost slip.
Sometimes it's huge. The forgiveness of a loved one.
A life pieced back together.
The sense everything is going to be okay.
* * *
When the meeting clears out,I wait for Bree in the back of the room. She's different here. There's no heavy burden on her shoulders. It's like when we were kids.
She's happy. She's wise. She's looking forward to her future.
She finishes talking to a girl about her age then makes her way to me.
