Page 226 of Hooking Up
I musterup the enthusiasm to high-five my customer on his way out the door. He sat through a huge piece of ink. It's a badass design. The kind of thing that usually excites me. That usually demands every bit of my attention.
It helped. It did.
Iris stayed in the back of my mind.
But now that my distraction is gone, my brain is flashing a neon sign.Irisin capital letters.
I force a smile as the guy walks away. It fades as soon as I turn into the shop. We're past our usual closing time. Except for Ryan and Leighton whispering over something at the counter, the place is empty.
They look cozy. Strangely cozy given Ryan's usual attitude toward conversation.
His misery finally makes sense to me.
It's like I'm missing a limb.
But it's worse. Because it's like the limb told me to go fuck myself and removed itself from my body.
All right, that doesn't make any sense.
I'm not an idiot. I get that this is my doing as much as hers. But that knowledge doesn't help with the ache in my gut or the pounding in my head.
I need a drink.
Or twelve.
How can I be pissed at her for using when I'm willing to let whiskey wash all this away?
The logic does nothing to soothe me. Or warm the ice around my heart. Or get theI hate herand theI need herhalves of my brain to make up.
She should have told me. We both know that.
But then it shouldn't have mattered. Not this much. I meant it. I did want her exactly as she is. I did believe the past was the past.
But what if it wasn't the past?
What if she's still using? Or thinking about using?
Fuck. She could be high right now.
She could be as desperate to get out of her head as I am.
Ryan turns to me and nods. He motions to his suite.Let's talk.
Uh…
I'm not sure Ryan has ever wanted totalkto me.
Lecture me, yeah.
Deliver news, sure.
Go over some business shit, of course.
But conversation about something other than work?
No. I'm getting ahead of myself. It might be about work. Maybe he's finally going to stop vetoing all potential new hires asnot serious enough.
He moves to his suite. Shoots me aget the fuck over here nowlook.
