Page 167 of Hooking Up

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Chapter Twenty-Six

Iris

The past is the past.

I let myself believe it.

I let myself fall harder.

All week, I text Walker about nothing. I go to his place for dinner and a movie and a fuck. I spend the night in his arms. I chain drink coffee. I pour myself into studying and perfecting my research.

It gnaws at my gut.

What if the past isn't the past?

How can he really promise that when he doesn't know what it is?

With the way he looks at his sister, is there really any chance he'll be okay loving a former addict?

I push it aside.

I hold onto his words like they're my lifeline.

They are.

They make me feel strong, safe, confident.

They convince me I can do this.

It's late on a weekday when I pick up the phone and stare at Lily's number.

I pressCall.

I can do this.

I have to do this.

Even if it means giving up the possibility for a hard no.

Even if it means a whole lot of hurt.

* * *

Ring,ring, ring.

My fingers dig into the table. I'm alone in my apartment, studying. Well, I'm supposed to be studying.

Ring, ring—

Voicemail.

Hello, you've reached Lily Avery. Please leave a message and I'll call you back.

She sounds happy. Normal. Healthy.

I take a deep breath and exhale slowly. "Hey Lily. It's Iris. Can we talk? I want to apologize. I… I want us to be okay."

I end the call.

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