Page 39 of Hooking Up
No.
"Not having your cell? Or email? Or any way to talk to the people you care about?"
"Who do you care about?"
"You." Her expression is earnest. Soft.
But is it bullshit?
I don't know.
"I do, Walker. I love you. You're my best friend. I hate that I'm disappointing you. But I couldn't take it. I couldn't spend any more time wandering around the grass, listening to everyone talk about how beautiful the ocean is from the hill. I couldn't take any more hippie counselors telling me how lucky I am to be alive."
"You are lucky to be alive."
"Yeah. But…"
But landing in the ER from an OD wasn't enough of a wakeup call the first time.
Or the second.
Is anything going to get through to her?
Her voice stays soft. "The group therapy counselor asked me what I was grateful for and I had nothing. He gave me all this shit. I snapped. I had to leave."
"You can go back."
She shakes her head. "Being there makes me want to drink."
I believe that, but it's not like drinking is her problem. One of them, maybe, but not the one that's landed her in the ER twice. "And being here doesn't?"
"No." She looks at me with puppy dog eyes. "You always make me feel like we're kids again. Like the only thing I'll ever want to abuse is sugar."
"Are you sober?"
"It's been twenty-four hours."
"The question stands."
"Yeah. Of course."
It's far from anof course. "You can stay. For one night. That's it. I have someone coming over tomorrow." Well, I plan to.
"Oh." Her voice perks. "You're seeing someone? Tell me all about her."
"It's not like that."
"What's it like?"
"We're friends."
"Oh. Well, that's good. Friends help." Loneliness creeps into her voice. All her friends are other addicts. If she really is trying to stay sober, she doesn't have anyone but me.
And I'm being an asshole.
I force my voice to soften. "Yeah. She's cool. Iris. You'd like her." Before everything, Bree was the picture of friendly. She liked everyone. "Emma crashes here sometimes. When she's pissed at Brendon."
"Emma." She smiles as she recalls my friend slash coworkers' spitfire little sister. "She's probably pissed at him a lot, huh?"
