Page 78 of The First Time
Iamthinking about kissing him again.
I better say something. "Did you see Violet?" I motion to her standing by the side of the stage.
"That is Violet."
"I hope she sticks around. She's sweet but in a take no shit kind of way, you know. I wish I was better at convincing people I don't take shit."
"Nobody thinks you take shit."
Maybe. "She's the one who taught me how to do makeup and find cute clothes."
"Really?" Kit raises a brow.
"I know she has better style than I do—"
"It's not that." He looks from Violet to me. "More that your style is really different."
It's true. She's a goth sexpot and I'm a college good girl. But at least I'm acutecollege good girl. "She was like an older sister to me. She gives the best advice."
"I'll give you advice."
"You'll tell me what to do."
He moves closer. "She doesn't?"
"Not usually."
"Then I hope she sticks around." His lips curl into a smile. "I'm going to keep telling you what to do."
The tension is gone. It's like the kiss never happened. Or maybe like Kit wanted it to happen as badly as I did.
I move closer than I should. "I... If I go after acting, I want to be practical about it."
"Weren't you a waitress?"
I nod. I worked at a little cafe for about two years. I had to quit back in October, when it became clear I couldn't juggle school and work.
"You can wait tables while you go to auditions. Thousands of actors do it every day."
"Maybe."
"Is acting what lights you up inside?"
Yes. But I'm not ready to admit that to him. I can barely admit it to myself. "It's not a stable career path."
"Yes or no?"
I say nothing.
He moves close enough to whisper. "Yes or no?"
It's hard to think anything with his breath warm on my ear. My body is buzzing. I want to touch him. I want to throw him against the wall and rip his clothes off.
Thislights me up inside.
I rise to my tip-toes to whisper in his ear. "Yes. But I still want stability. I know it's not exciting, but—"
"I get it." He presses his palm into my lower back. "You don't want to rely on anyone."
