Page 338 of The First Time
I shake my head.
Here goes nothing.
I jump into the pool.
Damn. That's intense.
The hairs on my neck stand up. I dunk my head. Underwater, everything is a blurry mess of blue-white.
The water rocks back and forth. There's a splash above me. Blake. He's in the pool with me.
I surface. He's five feet away, water dripping off his perfect shoulders.
He moves closer. "Distracted?"
I nod. "Thanks for listening before. And for talking… I almost believed you were my supportive fiancé."
His fingertips brush my chin.
I look up at him for as long as I can stand it. He's still intense, but there's a softness in his eyes. A sweetness.
My lungs work extra hard to find their next breath.
There's too much going on around me.
This pool is an oasis of calm. The eye of the storm, I guess. But it feels more like the storm itself. It feels like there's something raging inside me.
"I do care about you," he says.
"Yeah, I know we're not—well, I'm not sure what we are, but we're not lovers."
"I'll do anything I can to support you."
"What more could I ask for in a husband?" My voice cracks. I dive back under the water. The chlorine stings my eyes.
I can just make out the edges of Blake's body. They're blurry but they're still perfect.
I push off the concrete and glide towards the deep end. When I come up for air, Blake is staring at me. Fixed on me.
He moves closer.
Closer.
His wet hair is slicked back. It suits him, really, but so far I've never seen anything that doesn't suit him.
"Kat." His voice is sweet.
"I'm fine, thanks. Just thinking how lucky I am marrying such a supportive guy as a ruse. Luckiest girl in the world, really."
He studies me, deciding if he believes me. He nods like he does.
"You've never been in love," I say.
"Never."
"Nothing?"
"Never anything more than lust."
