Page 334 of The First Time
"What I told your mom. I want to go to college. Art school. I want to publish graphic novels. One day."
"Yours or others?"
"Both. I want to help people pour their soul onto the page. And share it with the world. I know it sounds cheesy. I guess it is. But that's what I want. I always thought I'd have to be an art teacher. Something like that. My parents were teachers. It's a good job. But not for me. I'm not good with people."
"You are."
"Maybe. But I prefer to work alone."
"That, I understand."
I can't help but laugh. "Do you have any friends?"
He arches a brow. "Is that an accusation?"
"No. I'm more… curious. You don't want a best man. There must not be anyone close to you."
"There isn't. Just my mother and my sister."
"Isn't that lonely?"
"I'm used to it." He looks up at me. "I know what you're going through taking on all that responsibility."
"Yeah?"
"My father wasn't just an asshole who drank himself to death. He took out his frustrations on my mother."
"Oh." My heart sinks. Poor Meryl.
"Once I was old enough to step in, he took them out on me." He looks at me. His voice fills with vulnerability. "I was fourteen when he died. I was relieved. The extra responsibility was nothing compared to how much I hated him."
"I'm sorry." My heart sinks for him too. I want to wipe his pain away. I want to prove that love doesn't have to be that ugly. I want to make the world a prettier place.
"Don't be. I'm glad he's gone."
"But I'm sorry you went through that. Love shouldn't hurt. Not like that."
He takes my hand. "It made me stronger. You lost parents who loved you. You lost something real. But it made you stronger."
I shake my head. "I'm not strong."
"You are."
A tear rolls down my cheek.
I miss my parents. There's still a hole in my heart. I never let myself feel it. I never let myself grieve the life I could have had.
Blake catches a tear on his thumb.
He leans in to press his lips to my forehead.
It's soft. Sweet. Loving.
I mumble into his neck. "I'm sorry you went through that."
"Thank you."
"What was it like? If you want to talk about it… You don't have to."
