Page 325 of The First Time
I do. And I'm going to. Just… I need to work up to it. I'm not good at asking for help.
She turns to me. "What's our deal?"
"Me and you against the world."
"Not Kat takes on the world all by herself." She adjusts her glasses. "We're partners. I want to help you. I want to be there when you need me."
"I know. I just…"
"I love you, Kat. Whatever it is, I'll do what I can."
Leaves catch on the breeze. The grass rustles. The lake ripples. "I don't know where to start."
"Anywhere." She pats the spot next to her.
I sit. She knows enough about my arrangement with Blake that I can jump straight to Fiona's offer. No. I need to start earlier. "Blake is doing this for his mother."
She arches a brow.
"She's dying. And, um, he doesn't want her dying thinking she ruined his chance at love."
"Why would she think that?"
"His father…" I press my lips together. That isn't my secret to tell. "He was a bad guy. She feels guilty about staying with him. At least, that's how it seems."
"That's sweet. Sort of. I mean, it's also kinda weird and controlling. But sweet too."
"He does have good intentions."
"But you, well—" she laughs. "Whenever you spend time with him, you either come home just-fucked and satisfied or upset."
I laugh too. "That's probably true."
"He already paid off the mortgage, right?"
"Yeah."
"We can handle the rest on our own. Really. I got in to Stanford. With a full scholarship."
"You didn't tell me."
"I was waiting until… I don't know. Until it felt right. Now it does."
I hug my sister. This is good news. Even if it means she might be three thousand miles away. "Wouldn't you rather stay in the city? Go to NYU?"
"Yes. And no. There are much better computer science programs. And there's… I might not even go to school."
"What?" That is not a possibility.
"I could get an internship. Start working right away."
"Lizzy—"
"I know you want to help, but this is my choice. I'll probably go with school. But I'm considering the other possibilities too."
I bite my lip. She's an adult. She should be able to run her own life. But this is supposed to be for us. What's the point of all this suffering if Lizzy isn't going to take Blake's scholarship?
If she's going to move anyway?
