Page 323 of The First Time
Chapter Twenty-One
The kitchen smells like coffee. It's warm, rich, nutty.
This place is warm. Cozy. Homey.
I wouldn't trade it for a dozen penthouse apartments.
I wouldn't trade it for anything.
"Earth to Kat?" Lizzy laughs. "You've been a space case lately."
"Sorry." I've spent the last few days drifting off. Drawing. Staring at the check. Asking myself if I can stomach taking Fiona's money. If I can survive not taking it.
I thought it would be hard avoiding Blake, but it's been easy. He's working. He's only texted to say goodnight. It's kind of sweet, the way he wants to be the last thought in my head.
But that gets me all mixed up.
It sends my thoughts racing in every direction.
Running, drawing, staring at the ceiling, walking around the city—they're all equally ineffective at bringing clarity.
I guess it's time to admit I need help.
"It's fine." She stirs sugar into her coffee and tests the flavor. "You used to be like that all the time. Before the accident."
"That was so long ago."
"Yeah. It feels like it was another lifetime." She takes a long sip and sighs with pleasure. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah." More or less. "It's a school day."
"It's early." She motions to the clock on the wall. "Besides, you need me more than I need school."
"Do I?"
She nods. "Something is up. You keep taking walks by the water. You only do that when you're worried about something."
"Do I?"
"Yeah. You do it every month before the mortgage is due." She presses her lips together. "We didn't get a bill."
"Blake…"
"Oh." Her eyes fix on mine. She's thinking something about me, but I'm not sure what it is.
"I know you don't like him."
"I don't like how he makes you feel." She traces the outline of her mug. "You've been in a funk since you got back from his place."
Accurate. "I'm thinking."
"About?"
"You should go to school. We can talk tonight."
"We can talk now."
My instincts demand I lie to her. Tell her everything is fine. It's just family drama. It's just stress about the wedding. But I can't do that. I need to bring her into this decision. "Okay."
