Page 301 of The First Time
But I can't lie to Meryl. Not any more than I have.
I need to mean whatever I tell her.
Am I going to school? It's a new idea, but I like it. Four years to focus on what I want, to find my style, to find myself.
It's perfect. "I promise."
She smiles, softening. "You two don't have to get married on my account."
"We're not."
"He told you. I can tell. After my outburst or before?"
I bite my lip. Suddenly aware I'm not in a jacket. "Before."
"Don't rush on my account."
"That's not it. It's just… I want to do it now, before my sister leaves for school."
"Before she's an entire subway ride away?"
I laugh. "She'll be busy. And I want to do this now." Passionate, whirlwind romance. That's the story. I conjure up the image of something that makes my heart flutter, but the only thing that comes to mind is Blake. Damn. "I love him. I don't want to wait."
She studies me. "I'm sure you have the best intentions, sweetheart. But that kind of fire in your loins—I see the way he looks at you like he's undressing you—that never lasts."
"That's your son."
"Men. They're all the same. Always thinking with the head between their legs." She finishes her drink and sets her glass on the railing. Then all her attention is on me. "He's handsome. Rich. If he's good in bed—"
My cheeks flush. "Don't tell me you want to discuss that."
"No. I'm not that… evolved. But I know what it's like being young and in lust. It clouds things. Makes you believe you're in love." She leans in. "But dear, all the money in the world isn't worth a loveless marriage. Trust me on that. True love is priceless."
My heart thuds against my chest.
It's like she knows I'm lying.
Like she can see every lie I've ever told.
I take a step towards the door. I can't keep this up for any longer.
"Excuse me," I say. "I could go for some dessert. Would you like to join me?"
"No thank you. But help yourself. There's coffee and tea in the pantry. Even some of that almond milk everyone is drinking now."
"I think they've moved onto coconut milk."
She smiles. "Good to know. I'll get some of that next time."
"Thank you. For everything."
"Good luck."
I arch a brow.
"With school. It's a lot to consider."
"Oh. Of course."
