Page 243 of The First Time
"Kat."
"Yes?"
"Have you ever loved anyone?"
"No. I already told you that." And he said my look was perfect. What's changed in the last week? I dig my nails into my thighs. "Maybe you should show me what you want."
He slides out of his seat and kneels next to me.
Heads turn.
He is in the perfect position to propose. He lifts himself up, so he's a few inches from me. His eyes get wide, soft. His lips curl into a tiny smile.
Warmth spreads through my body. It's not like before. It's not a desperate heat. It's in my chest, not between my legs.
Blake takes my hand and rubs the pad of his thumb against the skin between my thumb and forefinger.
I look away—this is too intimate—but he reaches for me.
His fingertips graze my cheek. It's a feather-light touch.
It makes me warm everywhere.
It makes me dizzy.
It's bright in here. Loud. But, somehow, I can't hear or see anything except him. I can't help but stare into his eyes. That look is pure affection. It's love. I almost believe it. No, not almost.
I do believe it. Warmth swims to my stomach and cheeks. He loves me.
But he doesn't.
This is all pretend.
He leans closer. Closer.
His lips are an inch from mine. It's not like before. It's not carnal.
It's sweet.
His hands slide into my hair. My eyes flutter closed. I forget everything except the feeling of Blake's lips.
They're soft. Sweet. With the faint taste of lemon.
He pulls back and brings his mouth to my ear. "It's pretend, Kat. It's all pretend."
I nod like I believe him. "I know."
"Can you do that?"
I don't know. But I already agreed to it. I nod.
He shifts back to his seat. His eyes stay glued to mine. "Good."
"What?"
"The way you're looking at me. I believe you."
"Oh, yeah, of course." I press my palms against the chiffon, but the fabric does nothing to absorb the sweat. We nearly had sex in a dressing room. I shouldn't be nervous over a kiss and a few sweet glances.
But I am.
I am staring at him like I love him.
And I'm going to keep doing it without falling in love with him.
Somehow.
