Page 167 of The First Time
"Stubborn."
What's his point?
"What if this works and we're happy. Fuck, what if we get married then five years down the line I slip, and drag you to rock bottom with me?"
"What if I realize I'm never going to be as famous or talented as my brothers and I get bitter and we grow to resent each other? What if an asteroid crashes into Earth? What if we go to San Francisco the week the big one hits?"
"This is likely."
"No, it's not." I push him towards the wall. He's heavy and strong. I don't get very far. Okay, a softer approach might work better. I rub his shoulders and run my fingers down his chest and stomach. "You take your recovery seriously."
He says nothing.
"All tour, you stayed away from anything that could tempt you."
"Besides flirting with you."
"You know what I mean."
"I watched my mom's soul die, one day at a time. I've seen somebody break because they couldn't believe what someone they once loved was doing."
"I won't do that."
He shakes his head, but he says nothing.
"No one can promise they'll be healthy forever."
"Yeah, but—"
"No, but. I know you won't. I know you, Kit."
He looks at me strangely, like he's not sure what to think or say.
He's still drifting off somewhere.
I don't like it.
I need him back.
Slowly, I undo the buttons of my top and I push it off my shoulders. "Maybe you're right and you're going to slip in five years."
His gaze fixes on my hands.
I have him right where I want him. I take a deep breath and reach around my back to unhook my bra.
Slowly, I shift it off my shoulders. "If you do, and we're still together, then you're on your own."
He arches a brow. "You're going to leave me at my lowest point?"
"I'll give you one chance. Then that's it."
He gives me a long once over, like he's considering my offer. I'm not sure if I mean it. God knows I'm stubborn enough to insist my way or the highway.
But Iamcaring and loyal. It took me months to see what was right in front of my face with Rory. It's possible I'd take forever to figure it out, that I'd be too invested to leave.
Or that leaving would destroy me.
I stare back into Kit's eyes. None of that matters. Maybe I'm stupid or naive, but I believe in Kit. I have no idea what it feels like to have your life spiral that far out of control, but I know the person he is now.
