Page 161 of The First Time
He nods to Piper's car. "She's here."
"And?"
"Propose to her in front of everyone. That's your best bet to this working out."
What the hell? Joel's voice is strained and his eyes are filled with frustration. He must be serious. I stare back at him like he's crazy.
"Older brothers love commitment."
"No fucking way." Only in Joel's universe does this kind of thing make sense. He'd probably marry somebody just to prove a point.
Joel shrugs his shoulders. Shakes his arms. It does nothing to ease the tension in his expression. "Only reason why you got clean was the threat to kick you out of the band."
I nod.
His voice drops. "I can't take you slipping again."
"I won't."
"You sure?"
I nod, but it isn't true. I can never be sure I'll stay clean. I can never promise it.
But, for the first time, I'm not satisfied with getting through the day miserable but sober. I'm not satisfied with surviving.
I want to thrive.
I want to stay clean for myself and for the band, but I want to do it for her too. So I can feel like the guy she sees me as.
* * *
Piper is sittingat the kitchen counter in black skinny jeans and a black button up shirt, nursing a cup of coffee.
Joel nods to her then to me. "You two match."
"On my way to a job interview." She barely looks at him. Her eyes are glued to mine. Her eyes are filled with desire. She's already blushing. "I never thought about it, but Kit dresses like a waiter."
"Yeah, he does." Joel motions towards the practice room down the hall. "We should get started."
"Of course." Piper sips her coffee. "I have to go soon." She checks the time on the clock. "Really soon. What time will you guys be done?"
"Depends how much time we spend bickering," I say.
Joel taps out the beat toDon't Fear the Reaper-the song has a killer drum solo—as he stares.
That's bad news. He only pulls out Blue Oyster Cult when he's really antsy.
"Ethan and Mal are already in the practice room. They're working on some duet thing." She looks to Joel. "Someone should stop them before they take it in a screamo direction."
Joel cocks a brow.
Piper nods.
Joel shoots me anI'm not buying thislook but he does hightail it to the practice room.
Piper shifts off her chair. She wipes her hands on her jeans and takes a step closer. "I really should go."
"Where's the interview?" I ask.
