Page 89 of The First Time
"Just fucking get over here."
Joel is usually happy-go-lucky. It's easy to forget he can be a real hard-ass.
But that's exactly what I need right now.
"Thanks." I hang up my phone and go straight to my bike.
* * *
By the timeour first post-tour band meeting rolls around, I'm used to being miserable. I'm still spending an absurd amount of time working out and practicing, but I'm balancing it with doing nothing with Joel.
I don't feel any better, but I don't want to numb myself either.
Now that I'm standing outside the Strong house...
Fuck, my entire body is throbbing.
I knock on the door.
A few moments later, Piper pulls it open. Her eyes fill with hurt as they fix on mine.
Her voice is curt. "Mal and Joel are already in the practice room." She pulls the door open and moves towards the stairs. "Lock the door, please."
She practically vanishes up the stairs.
Fuck, she looks as miserable as I feel.
I don't bother trying to shake it off. I'm going to feel like shit all day, all month probably. I have to get through the pain. I have to deal with the reality of a life that doesn't involve Piper.
I feel sick.
Somehow, I manage to lock the door and get to the practice room.
Joel is already fucking around on his drum kit. He's not playing as much as he's making noise. He has a look of contentment plastered on his face as he bangs his sticks against the cymbals.
This is where Joel belongs.
Mal shakes his head, not buying Joel's shit for a minute. "No fucking way is that a drum solo you came up with."
Joel smiles that typical JoelI'm fucking with yousmile. "You don't have to hurt my feelings, Strong. You can tell me you don't like it."
"I hate it." Mal turns to me and raises a brow. "You want coffee?"
Joel shoots me the same concerned look. "Fuck, you really do look like shit, Lockhart. Still miserable?"
"Same as yesterday." I shrug my leather jacket off my shoulders and toss it to the ground. I haven't got any fucking patience right now. Everything is getting on my nerves.
"Yeah, but I figured it was cause you were desperate to play together." Joel bounces off his drum kit. "Don't tell me it's because Ethan isn't here?"
The guitarist is in New York City with his now-girlfriend, Violet. I'd like to be happy for them, but at the moment I despise everything about relationships.
I'm not in the mood to banter with Joel. I grit my teeth and do it anyway. "That must be it."
Mal raises a brow. He and Joel share a knowing look.
Mal looks to me. "How long has it been since rehab now?"
"About seven months." I grab my practice bass off its stand. "I haven't used since before rehab if that's your next question." Of course I did eat out the guy's innocent baby sister then run off, so it's not like I have much high ground here.
